[Episode 7] Call Me by No Name | From Page to Screen | Tearing Love Apart and Let's Get Married...

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9

I’m not sure how it’ll come across when you read it, but this part was actually quite difficult for me to write. We’re nearing the end now, and this will be the third-to-last post in the novel/drama comparison series. I’ll really be looking forward to your thoughts and feedback on this one, because there are some key differences coming up. But without further ado (not the singer), let’s get into it.

=== 

So, remember? We were going to Kotoha's place.
And Kotoha's place is described as something high class, especially for a university student. Before actually entering the apartment itself, Megumi comments, saying "...quite a nice place", and Kotoha just goes like "Is that so?", as she opens the door. Up until that point Kotoha had appeared sort of absent-minded, her face slightly contorted as she looked about to cry. But now she has shifted to that familiar expressionless mode again.
Megumi thinks it's frightening, but at the same time she just can't turn back. Not now.

Once inside, Megumi is shocked.
There was nothing in the apartment that could convey the idea of someone actually living in it. No bed, no television, no refrigerator. Nothing. A big majority of the place was filled with stuff, clothes, books etc, inside garbage bags. Almost as if the garbage bags were used as storage boxes, we're told.
Every bit of Kotoha's "life" was categorized within the bags.
Megumi notices clothes and objects that were obviously outside of Kotoha's tastes, so she wonders if they have been gifted to Kotoha, by someone who definitely could have never imagined Kotoha was living in such a place...

While she's still fully wearing her mask, novel Kotoha here is not so "out of it", so "in another place" as drama Kotoha in the same scene. She says "There's not any actual garbage, so it shouldn't smell" and then (since Megumi doesn't know what to say in response to that), "Shall I try and guess what you're thinking right now?", to which Megumi replies with "Okay, please" in actual English (again, an unthinkable lighthearted exchange if we think of the scene from the drama, isn't it?).

Kotoha: "I picked her up from a garbage dump, and it turns out she pretty much lives in one". Right?
Megumi: No, I was not...Okay, that's a lie. I did think that. I mean, I was thinking it's a pretty peculiar way to store stuff...
Kotoha: Couldn't think of a more charitable interpretation...Look, there's even the plushie you bought me! (such a huge element for this scene in the drama, you might think, but it's not over for stuffed toys here, not yet...)
Megumi sees the otter plushie in one of the semi-transparent bags, looking in their direction. In her mind, she believes this is Kotoha's way of taking care of it. But the dialogue continues...

Megumi: Why do you keep your place like this?
Kotoha: Who knows? Maybe taking a look at this might make you understand why I prefer sleeping elsewhere.
Megumi: It doesn't exactly look livable...

Megumi feels a strange pressure permeating the room. There must've been more than fifty garbage bags. So apparently that's how many it takes to contain someone's life. Our lovely overthinker can't help but wonder why Kotoha was maintaining that condition and when did it all begin...

Then Kotoha quietly says "Hey, come here!".
There was a little space, right at the center of the room, without any garbage bags. Megumi assumes that's where Kotoha sleeps. Definitely didn't look comfortable. It gave her the idea that it was almost as if Kotoha herself was being thrown away, abandoned in that tiny space. But while Megumi's mind is completely filled with all sorts of considerations, Kotoha throws in her "Meguchi, let's do it". Megumi is surprised, but before she can say anything, Kotoha pushes her lips against hers. So far...that's how it starts in the drama as well, isn't it?

But as you might remember, I have mentioned in another post that things would be different compared to the same scene in the adaptation. They really are, and in a way that is truly essential, that completely flips the cards on the table on how it goes about the trauma reenactment portrayal. You can completely forget about how things proceed in the drama. But, let's go into it. 

After pushing her lips against Megumi's, Kotoha keeps kissing her, and Megumi starts to become overwhelmed, her brain melting due to the euphoria of the moment (insert drama Megumi saying "I was super into it!" on the bridge ahah). In order to respond to Kotoha, Megumi starts unbuttoning her clothes. She stops only to say "...Kotoha", when she notices her body trembling. But Kotoha says "Please, don't say anything".

Megumi has noticed that Kotoha is intentionally avoiding touching upon that subject, that beautiful (again, we get it that she's beautifuuuuuuuuuuuuul ahaha) woman who unsettled her so much...She also knows she can't call any of it a coincidence, given how much the woman resembled Kotoha. It had to be the witch who had placed the curse on Kotoha. The witch who was supposed to have been burnt at the stake. Kotoha had called her a criminal. What could that woman have done to Kotoha...?

Kotoha touches Megumi's hair, as the unbuttoned dress falls off her shoulder, and says "Meguchi...Megumi". Yes, this is when it happens in the novel. The first time she called her by her name (if we don't count Megumi's dream). It felt painful and also scary for Megumi, for some reason. And here we have that dialogue...

Kotoha: Do you know why I call you Meguchi?
Megumi: I don't.
Kotoha: I call you Meguchi because I wanted to split it in half...
Megumi: In half?
Kotoha: Your name is Megumi, written as "love", so if I call you Megu it's only half of it. I thought I'd rip your love apart...
And she keeps combing Megumi's hair with a scratching motion, as if tearing it apart, much like in the drama.. And she continues.
Kotoha: I mean, it's unfair to have a name so filled with love. It was my way of rebelling against it.
Kotoha stops touching Megumi's hair, lets her hand wonder in the air for a bit, then places it on Megumi's left breast.
Kotoha: But, you see? The heart in "love" is in the upper part. Within the "Megu" I chose to keep (and this detail, I reeeeeeeeeeeeeally loved. It refers to heart symbol - 心 - that is contained in the upper part of the character for "love", which is the one Megumi is written with - 愛).
Then Kotoha buries her face in Megumi's chest. Megumi thinks Kotoha might be about to cry, but she continues speaking.
Kotoha: My name is a curse. At least, that's what it's always been for me. Humans are born in the midst of silence, then they get bound by names. I'm probably still there, unable to escape.
Megumi: To me, you're Kotoha. As long as I'm here, you won't need any other name. 

This is something that's only left to the viewer to grasp, in a way, but the novel makes it clear. At this moment, Megumi thinks Kotoha knows what she means by those words. It's a surrender. A giving up of the game. It's an "I'm NOT going to guess your name" declaration. Kotoha looks at Megumi, in silence. Then says "That's right. I'm Kotoha Furuhashi". Using the regular first person pronoun, instead of the dialect one, just like in the drama; and she says it, we're told, almost as if she's trying to persuade herself. There's no Megumi holding Kotoha's hand end embracing her, like in that memorable scene in the drama. There is also no peak cinema flower scene with flashback. Instead...

Kotoha starts digging her nails into Megumi's scalp. As Megumi slightly cries out in pain, Kotoha kisses her neck, and pushes her down on the floor. Then, with the upper half of her body completely exposed, she straddles Megumi. We're told that Megumi finds this Kotoha looking down on her almost ghostly beautiful. But we're also told that she thinks about that being the same view that woman had seen (when Kotoha got on top of her earlier, in front of the gate). But, you're going to be very wrong if you think this means things are going to move forward similarly to the drama, because novel Kotoha is not going to overlap herself with her mother, and force herself on Megumi.

Kotoha lets the rest of her clothes fall on the floor, and laughs.
Kotoha: You're going to please me, right?
Megumi: ...that's precisely what I intend to do.
This is when Megumi notices a particular garbage bag, in a corner of the room. Inside it, were two plushies, asea lion and a penguin, pretty much shredded. Remember, right? Those Kotoha's mother bought her when they went to the aquarium. 

In this moment, we're told that Megumi understands the meaning of that room.
Every single thing in there was trash. And since everything was equally trash, she didn't have to throw away anything. Time was frozen, in that apartment. Megumi couldn't bear it all, so she closes her eyes as she feels the weight of Kotoha's body leaning in on her. 

In the description of what goes on after this, we're first informed that that day, for the first time, Kotoha let out her first proper moans. She would let them out, looking at Megumi with almost tearful eyes. Kotoha wouldn't listen to Megumi when she suggested to arrange something on the floor, since it might've been painful just like that. And she kept gasping, as her head would hit the floor, making a dull sound. There is a bit of a graphic description here, with Megumi pleasuring Kotoha from the inside, whike Kotoha applies pressure from the outside, still moaning, until the climaxes.

What follow are some considerations about Kotoha.
About her being good at experiencing pleasure. About this possibly being what it means to be "good at having sex". All very grim if you think why and how it all got to that...However. Moreover. More importantly. More crucially. Kotoha in that state, we're told, oddly looked like she was suffering. Her voice seemed to express pleasure, but her eyes looked so terribly dark, like sea at night.

It was late afternoon when they got to Kotoha's place, but it was already fully dark beyond the curtains. Megumi can't tell what time is it, and is reminded of what Kotoha said about sex between women, about not knowing when it ever ends. They go on and on, like a snake eating its own tail, never ending. Having already climaxed multiple times, Kotoha appears exhausted, as she looks at Megumi with vacant eyes.
Megumi: ...tired, uh? Shall we stop?
Kotoha: Not yet.
She says this while reaching for the lower part of her body almost as if, we're told, she's being instructed to do so. Megumi stops her hand, replaces with a kiss, and says "Let's do it together".
Kotoha doesn't respond; she just moans again. Her voice, we're informed, resembles that of a fussy child. Then, it looked like her trembling lips were just about to murmur something. Almost as if to overwrite that, to cover it up (you'll get what it was in a bit, and it will kill you), Megumi speaks out herself, saying "Kotoha... I love you, Kotoha".
It's not even clear if Kotoha hears that, but she faintly smiles. Every bit of this will fall into a terrible and heartbreaking picture of interpretation in a just bit...

And then it's morning, as they open their eyes. Megumi's entire body aches, and that pain is the only thing that feels real after the sex that had ended...she doesn't even know when. Kotoha is already awake, looking at the morning glow from the gap in the curtains. She is still naked, only with her dress put over her shoulders. Megumi doesn't call out to her, because she notices that she's crying...Bathed in the morning light, her tears fall down, gradually turning to shadows. Megumi knows she's looking at something she shouldn't be seeing. She holds her breath, pretends to be sleeping and keeps looking at Kotoha. The tears don't stop. Now please get ready to die as you read what I'm about to write. Know that I'm dying with you. I die every time I think about it. While Megumi is looking at Kotoha crying, she remembers what she murmured earlier, that word that Megumi tried to cover with her confession of love. She murmured: "Mom". Dead yet? I am. This perturbed me so much, so deeply.

I wonder if you're seeing the point, like I see it, at this point.
This is, in a way, in part, the opposite way around what happens in the drama. In the scene in the adaptation, Kotoha merges herself with her mother, with her mother's role, and tries to force herself on Megumi, like her mother would on her. In the novel, after confronting her mother, she feels a sort of uncontrollable impulse and drive to do that, to become sexual. What might seem like an attempt to get in charge of her body and pleasure, ultimately ends up bringing herself back to the state of being at the mercy of her mother; even more, almost of...wanting to be in that place. Seeing her again earlier, brought her back there and then, to those nights. No matter what, she can't escape it, it seems. With a voice like that of a child, she called out to her mother, while under the compulsion to climax yet once more. I want to scream as I write this. This is not in any way a nice happy love-making session between two girlfriends. Not in the slightest. That's not even Kotoha. That's little Yotogi there! Damn it, this is so painful and disturbing.

I found this scene in the novel tremendously unsettling. Like, very, very, very unsettling, though in a different way compared to how Kotoha forcing herself on Megumi in the drama is (and it is). If I'm honest, and I like to be, I find it much more unsettling than the drama scene. Maybe it's also because of how long it lasts, but I think it's mostly because it's a much, much rawer and more direct re-enactment of the trauma. I don't know. I can't put it into words properly. Going through it once more, and writing all this down, has disturbed me all over again, and I'm feeling super uneasy right now, both mentally and physically (and, hi! This is me days later, adjusting the draft, and feeling sick all over again ahah).

Well anyway, my friend. After what happened at Kotoha's place, we're told they kept behaving as if nothing happened. Then, as they're having an early lunch at a café, Kotoha complains about her body hurting, and Megumi is like "I told you it was not a good idea to do it on the floor!". Then suddenly Kotoha says...

Kotoha: We can't even have kids, and yet we sure did a lot of that...What a pointless, unproductive thing.
Megumi: I don't like that way of talking about it.
Kotoha: Isn't that true, though? What you and I did is completely meaningless. Not even able to connect, we just made each other feel good (daaaamn, Kotoha!)

Megumi was full of desire to refute all that, but the reason why she didn't is that Kotoha had such a sad smile on her face (and though the context is different, the dynamics of this reminds me of the interaction on the bridge in EP6, with Kotoha super down, and Megumi making an effort to brighten up things...). It's after seeing that, that something weird pops up in Megumi's mind. Something she'd never do normally.

Megumi: Kotoha.
Kotoha: What?
Megumi: Let's get married.

Kotoha widens her eyes, surprised. In Megumi's hand, a ring made with a straw wrapper. Megumi obviously knew such a thing couldn't replace a real ring... Just like drama Kotoha:

Kotoha: ...that's trash.
Megumi: Who cares? Let's get married!

Kotoha sighs and slips the ring onto her left ring finger.

Kotoha: ...it's just trash. It doesn't mean anything.
Megumi: I-I know that! Don't say it. It makes me feel embarrassed.
Kotoha: That's why I'm saying it!

Then novel Kotoha laughs. Maybe she thought she had hurt Megumi enough with her words? Possibly, because it's actually her that says:

Kotoha: Okay. I get it. Let's be together forever, okay?
Then adding;
Kotoha: Though this still is just a fake!!
Megumi: Well, whatever, then! Give it back to me! I'll give you a proper one, one day!
Kotoha: Nope! You gave it to me so it's mine!
Megumi: But you said it was trash!
Kotoha: Because it is!

And so, she keeps it on, and raises it up...
Then, we're told, this is when Kotoha Furuhashi disappears once again from Megumi Yotsugi's sight. Right here. They don't go back to Kotoha's place, with Megumi then waking up to Kotoha having left, and the ring on the floor. 

This scene is also pretty different from the one in the drama, and not only in the ways that make sense based on the changes in Kotoha's apartment scene. The fact that it's not Megumi that puts the ring on Kotoha's finger, and that it's not even her that mentions being together forever, does color the characters in a bit of a different way, at least in my eyes. Novel Kotoha starts off much harsher than drama Kotoha, but appears to end in a more heartwarming way, giving that she says that line. I say "appears to", because she had definitely already made up her mind to get away from Megumi, when she told her to stay together forever, so... it's just much sadder in the end! The difference in setting (the café VS the bridge) is also notable!

In any case, this is the end of Chapter 3. Chapter 4 is the final one: "Proof of Love", also subtitled as Proof of Your Name.

At the start of the chapter, we're explained that after the lunch, Megumi and Kotoha parted ways very normally, just as usual. But then...Megumi starts to be unable to get in touch with Kotoha. Our puppy just...wouldn't answer. Megumi doesn't get immediately too worried, but after three days without her traumatized girlfriend answering calls and messages, it was clear something was off, especially considering that Kotoha was quite diligent when it came to keeping in touch. 

Megumi even goes to Kotoha's place, worrying that something might've happened. But nobody answers the doorbell. She stays there for a while, first straining her ears to listen (for sounds that might indicate Kotoha was home), then waiting for her to come home. But nothing. And, of course, Kotoha also didn't go back to Megumi's place. Our lovely, beautiful and perfect Russian literature student has a bad feeling (we never find out where she went during this time. As for drama Kotoha, we're shown her being a sad puppy at home, but novel drama is a bit different).

Megumi considers the fact that people can't disappear, just like that like that. Kotoha is smart and rational, so she'd never quit university merely to avoid Megumi. And...well, she's right. Five days after Kotoha's disappearance, Megumi sees her again, in their International Relations Theory class. She seems just like the usual Kotoha, which reassures Megumi. At the same time, the sight of her gave Megumi chills, because she realizes that the fact that nothing had happened to her, meant that Kotoha decided on her own volition to push her away!

As soon as the lesson ends, Megumi calls out to Kotoha and rushes to her (there's no interaction with her friends before this, no "you've changed since you started dating her" etc. There also won't be any Sanae pushing Kotoha to Megumi or anything like that). She grabs her hand to stop her, Kotoha turns her way and, looking all annoyed, brushes Megumi's hand away.

Kotoha: Don't touch me!
Her expression is full of hostility. Very different from the look she had in the apartment.
Megumi: ...eh? Wait, did I do something?
Kotoha: Let's put an end to this, Meguchi.
Megumi: W-what? What's up with you, all of a sudden?
Kotoha: It would've been great if you picked up on it and backed off on your own. But it seems like you're really inconsiderate...
This is when Megumi finally realizes this is their breaking up moment. Or maybe, in her mind, Kotoha had already ended things way before then.
Kotoha: I got tired of it. Everything up until now has been nothing but a farse.
Megumi: I wouldn't be here if I could be convinced by such a premade rejection.
Kotoha: Wait, have you realized you're really a lesbian or what? If so, just go to your oh, so kind friends and let them comfort you. If you tell them Kotoha Furuhashi dumped you and cry about it a bit, I'm sure someone will be willing to comfort you.

Well, novel Kotoha sure is harsh, isn't she? Daaaaamn.
Megumi: If my feelings could be shaken by such cheap provocation, I wouldn't be doing this in the first place.
Megumi is the strongest soldier there is! How does she do it?
She thinks maybe Kotoha is trying to make her angry (you don't say!). But no way that could work. She wants the truth.
Kotoha: Ahhh, that's right. That's the kind of person you are, isn't it?
As she says this, Kotoha shows one of those wry smiles Megumi had seen many times while they were dating.
Kotoha: Well, since this is it, allow me to tell you the truth.
Megumi: Okay...
Kotoha: You know, I've hated you tremendously, ever since we first met.
The way she says this, she sounds almost as if she's looking back on something, which makes it impossible for Megumi to think she's lying.
Megumi: ...Do you still hate me?
Kotoha: No, now it just hurts.
All with a sort of uninterested, detached look on her face. She continues.

Kotoha: If I stay with you any longer, I'm sure it'll only get harder. Since you're so kind, Meguchi, you won't let me suffer, will you?
And these words do hit our Megumi, unlike all the other attempts. If she's been suffering the entire time, then it's only natural for her not to want to be with Megumi anymore...
Kotoha: So, let's put an end to it. I don't want to get to hate myself any more than I already do.
Now Megumi interjects.
Megumi: ...you've been suffering this whole time? All alone?
Kotoha: Remember? You once asked me why I was dating you. Glad you finally know the answer.
Then she gets close to Megumi's ear...
Kotoha: When we talked at the café, I thought "maybe things can really change for me, this time. Maybe one day all the hatred will disappear". But it didn't. Things didn't change.

And Kotoha takes off, just like that. Megumi can't bring herself to go after her, even though it's not raining this time. This scene is also veeeeery different from that in the drama. What appears to be clear is that, while they do share something, novel Kotoha and drama Kotoha are in very different mental spaces. Their internal circumstances have something in common, but they're not exactly the same. Also, after Kotoha leaves, novel Megumi doesn't retire in her apartment, only coming out thanks to Tabane's encouragement. There are no such scenes at all, and there's not even time for that...

Megumi feels like she has no other choice but to back off, after being rejected in such a direct way.
She breathes in short bursts, crying, and is happy that there aren't mirrors around or she might've died seeing how pathetic she must've looked. She keeps thinking about Kotoha's words, about her saying that she hated her. Did she, really? We'll get an answer to the reasons behind that later. Megumi sits on a bench, trying to regain her composure and realizes that the only thing that can save her now, is logic. It didn't matter if it was born out of complacency; she needed some sort of idea or theory to bring her out of that state...

She thinks, and she thinks, and she thinks. Of Kotoha, of her skin as she touched it, of her words of gratitude in the hotel, of her room filled with garbage, of her crying in the middle of that space, of the woman in front of the gate. She considers that maybe that realization in Kotoha, that things could never change, that the hatred could never fade away, happened when she met that woman. Megumi also knows she can't deny the fact that Kotoha has been suffering all along. There's no proof that she was ever happy. Oh, the damn proof, again and again.

When Megumi gets up from the bench, feeling better but not fully okay yet, she passes through the North Gate, with the intention of going home. That's when...

Extremely Mysterious Man: Are you Megumi Yotsugi?
Megumi looks back and sees this tall man. Thin lips, almond-shaped eyes, a face that would definitely be considered pretty. And our heroine suddenly feels very tense when she realizes how those traits clearly connect this man with the woman at the gate, and with Kotoha.
Not So Mysterious Anymore Man: My name Asahi Furuhashi. I'm Kotoha Furuhashi's brother. May I have a moment of your time?

Yes, yes, my friends. No more Sora in the picture, in the novel. I mean, just not physically. Because there is much more Sora in the picture, sadly. In any case, the key person, falling from above almost like some sort deus ex machina, is Kotoha's brother, who only appears in name, in the drama. I'll then like to know what sort of direction you prefer, story wise. Tell me, or I'll be sad.

Megumi accepts Asahi's invitation and goes with him to a café near the university. Not the same she went with Kotoha (still, you all sure do love cafés! I do, too!).

Megumi: Were you waiting for me?
Asahi: I'm sorry if I creeped you out. I had seen you in photos, so your face was familiar. And...ehm, I also got your class schedule from Kotoha (so weird, to imagine Kotoha showing Asahi all this stuff!).
Megumi: Did the security guards say anything?
Asahi: I did my best not to stand out, because I knew my mother had caused some trouble. I figured that in case they stopped me, I would just mention Kotoha's name.

She pretty much knew already (I mean...it would be worrying if she didn't by now ahah), but now Megumi knows for sure that woman was Kotoha's mother. She wonders how Kotoha had explained things to Asahi, if he knew about her straddling their mother and trying to hit her. In the drama we know that Asahi and Kotoha are not in contact and haven't been for a while. But things are clearly different in the novel.

Asahi: Ever since the incident, Kotoha has been unstable, hasn't she? She said everything was fine, but I can't get in touch with her anymore, so I thought I'd ask you. It felt like my only chance at this point.
Megumi: Kotoha told you about me?
Asahi: Yes. We met a little while ago. Well, she didn't go too deep into it, but her talking about you left a strong impression on me, because it was the first time that Kotoha had made a friend.
Megumi: Ah...
Megumi feels sooooo hurt hearing that word: "friend". Apparently that's how Kotoha had introduced her to her brother...To think that's what she herself initially wanted!!

Asahi: Would you please talk to me about Kotoha? Has she been attending university? I thought maybe she might tell you things she wouldn't tell me...
Megumi: I don't know. And besides, we're not friends anymore.
Asahi: What?
Megumi: I mean, we've actually never been friends in the first place. I'm not that sort of person, to her.
Megumi can't help but spit out all these pathetic words, and Asahi appears quite perplexed.
Asahi: Did you two have a fight? I know she can be quite stubborn, but maybe if you talk it through...
Megumi: Ahhh, I'm sorry. That was a lie. We've never been friends, that's true, not even for a moment. In reality, I was dating your sister. Sorry for saying something like this out of the blue. I understand if it might confuse you.

Again, she just couldn't help but say it, even knowing she probably shouldn't have (quite different from everything in Megumi's state of mind when she meets with Sora in the drama, and tells her that she and Kotoha are lovers).
Megumi: I'm sorry. If you want to know about what Kotoha's been up to lately, I'm not the right person to ask. Sorry you went to the trouble of reaching out to me; I'm afraid I can't be of any help...
Asahi: Wait!
And as Megumi stands up and attempts to leave, Asahi grabs her wrist. The same thing Kotoha did to her back then. He asks her to sit back down, and then:
Asahi: Sorry about that. So, you were Kotoha's girlfriend. I see. All the more reasons to listen to what I have to tell you.
And Megumi sits down again. There was no way she could refuse that.

Asahi: What made you think to start dating Kotoha?
Megumi: Well, at first it just kind of happened. I wanted to become her friend, but Kotoha refused and then told me she'd become my friend if I guessed her name.
Asahi: And that's how you became lovers?
Megumi: I understand it sounds crazy, but that's exactly how it happened.
She continues.
Megumi: I couldn't understand her intentions. Maybe she was really just messing with me. But it's my fault, ultimately. I like Kotoha. I lost the game and couldn't become her friend, nor her lover, but I still like her.
Our Megumi feels like she's about to cry. To try and endure that, she swallows up all her coffee, burning her tongue (first the porridge, now the coffee. Poor Megumi's tongue ahahah).
Asahi: Miss Yotsugi, may I tell you about Kotoha's past?
Megumi: Are you sure I'm supposed to hear about it?
Asahi: It's precisely because it's you, that I want to share it.

And this is where I'm going to stop, because the rest is very very long and I wouldn't want to divide that part in the middle. Much better to do it before it really begins. Asahi is going to spill all the beans, even beans you might prefer (I know I did!) he kept for himself. You're pretty much going to get the entire dialogue translated as it is, because this part of the novel is really just the conversation between Megumi and Asahi (with some brief description or comment in between). For now, considering just how deeply different the part covered in this post is from the drama, I really look forward to reading your thoughts. I know the forceful part in Episode 6 wasn't easy for everyone to digest (and it might've taken time, thought and rationalization), so knowing there's no such moment in the novel might make you wonder about the choice they made. Personally, I think it makes sense on multiple levels. The first one is the graphic nature of the novel scene (and it would be impossible to portray the essence of it without it being so explicit, so obviously adapting it would be pretty much impossible). The second level is the overall difference in the characterization and inner state of Megumi and Kotoha between novel and drama (it's seriously weird to imagine drama Kotoha have some of the exchanges in the novel). The third level is the fact that the choice they made for the drama is a muuuuuuuuuuch easier way to convey the concept of the re-enactment of this particular trauma (as we saw with the montage with all the scenes, with little Yotogi, EP 1 Kotoha, the overlap between Sora and Kotoha). I'm not sure the meaning of the novel scene, adapted to screen, could be conveyed as easily or at all. Even if such a thing was possible in some way, I'm afraid it would be way too unsettling. It's a very sexual scene that it's supposed to make you think about and feel the sexual abuse a child has endured at the hands of her mother, including all the very complex and nuanced feelings involved. I mean, there was just...no way, in my personal opinion. I'm disturbed all over again just by thinking about it, so...yeah. Okay. Waiting for your comments! Until next time, which is not going to be too far from now, as I already finished the draft for all the rest!