[Episode 8] Call Me by No Name | From Page to Screen | I Hate Rain and Thunder, I'm Scared of The Night. I'm Just Like a Little Kid, Really

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9

This is the second to last post of the Call Me by No Name novel and drama comparison series. It's really almost over, at this point. We're about to embark straight into the revelation arc, and then dash through the end. The part you're going to read is completely non-existent in the drama (as the finding out happens in a different way and via different means - which is why I'll be posting some random screenshots instead of some from the scenes mentioned eheh), just like the drama's Episode 8 is non-existent in the novel. The post will not only contain some distressing content, but also a lot of me ranting, so...get ready for both! As always, I'll be really looking forward to your comments, to check your reactions to the differences.
That said, enjoy!

=== 

Last time we left right as Asahi was about to start talking about Kotoha, remember?
If not, go back and check the final section of Part 7.
So, now you need to buckle up, because here goes, my friends. Like I mentioned previously, this segment of the novel is pretty much all dialogue, so what follows is really just a translation of it all. 
I mean it, about the buckling up! This is no joke! Buckle up! Done? Okay. Let's see what Kotoha's brother has to say...

Asahi: You know, Kotoha really loved her mother. When she was little, she'd follow her everywhere. It was so cute. Whenever Kotoha would cling to her legs, our mom would pick her up and kiss her. I remember feeling happy, seeing that.
He continues...
Asahi: Our mother, she also really loved Kotoha.
Megumi: ...Then (she was about to say something like "what's the problem, then?", but she stops. There was no way this could be a heartwarming story about familial love. She knew that much).
Asahi: Our mother loved Kotoha more than anything else. There is no doubt about that. Kotoha has always been the object of her attention. Our mother fell in love with Kotoha the moment she was born. She ended up falling in love with her own, just born, child.
I told you to buckle up! I told you! Don't come at me! Talking about a grown ass woman, a mother, falling in love with an infant...And it's not over. This is not even the worst part! You have to keep buckling up.

Megumi: What do you mean she ended up falling in love with her?
Asahi: Well, I guess it can happen for someone to experience affection of the sexual kind toward their own child. And I'm sure there are cases when this sort of feelings lead to tragedies... (cases? What are the case in which that DOESN'T lead to tragedy!?! Sorry, I'm ranting a lot already).
Megumi: But, Kotoha is her daughter...
Asahi: And that's exactly why. Our mother had no other choice but to fall in love with Kotoha. Three years after I was born, she finally got the daughter she had long waited for. A daughter, whom she could love... (what the actual f...!! I have so many issues with how Asahi talks about some of this stuff, honestly!!)
Megumi: That's...
Final warning to buckle up. Done? Ok.
Asahi: Don't you understand? Our mother was a homosexual. She was attracted to women. I don't know why she ended up marrying our father, but my guess is that she wanted children. (oh, right! Now it all makes sense! She was a homosexual! That's why she fell in love with her daughter!! *irony* Also, insert Natasha Lyonne saying "I'm a homosexual" in But I'm a Cheerleader to lighten the mood).
He continues...
Asahi: Not long after Kotoha was born, our mother filed for divorce. She couldn't give a proper reason, so she walked out on our father, taking barely anything with her. I was really close with my father, so I didn't want to leave him, but still I went with our mother anyway. I cried, asking for a reason, but she did nothing but apologize. That's when I changed my surname, from our father's to our mother's, and I became Asahi Hashidate (so they went from Furuhashi to Hashidate, back to Furuhashi...).

Wish it was over? Not even close.
Megumi: So this obviously means Kotoha was also called Hashidate, right?
Asahi: Yes, though at that time, Kotoha's name was not Kotoha.
So Megumi wasn't that far off when she considered divorce as a possible reason behind the name change. But yeah, that's just a part of it, as we know.
Asahi: Thinking back on it, I guess my mother just couldn't bear being married anymore. Still, she worked hard and raised us. Our father would come visit from time to time, and it was a happy life, in its own way. And of course Kotoha still adored our mother. If only things could've stayed that way...
...now we get that that point, my friends.
Asahi: Everything started to go wrong around the time Kotoha turned ten. Our mother's love for her kept growing more and more. She would comb her hair, wash her body, and then...she began to seek Kotoha out, night after night.
Megumi: What do you mean "seek her out"? (oh, Megumi, come ooooooooooooooooon).
Asahi: To put it straightforwardly, I'm talking about sexual acts. Given that they're both women, obviously the manner of it all would differ compared to how it'd be between a man and a woman. In any case, our mother was treating Kotoha as her little lover, and was behaving accordingly (Asahi, dear, it was a woman and a CHILD...see what I mean about disliking how he talks about it !? Curious to hear your thoughts on this, by the way).
Megumi: ...I see. Behaving accordingly...When did you find out about that?

Asahi: I think it happened when she was twelve. Far too late, I know. Back then, Kotoha and our mother would sleep together, and I would sleep by myself, in the next room. I believe our mother wanted to be alone with Kotoha. I didn't know what was going on, and Kotoha never said anything, so...
Megumi: Still, something happened that led you to realize it all...
Asahi: It's not that I was a mama's boy or something, but I remember feeling sad and lonely at the time. Our mother would prioritize Kotoha no matter what. But that one night...there was thunder. Terrible thunder (yes, my friends, yes, The Thunder™). As usual, our mother was sleeping with Kotoha. Though I was embarrassed, considering I was already in middle school, I felt horribly helpless and decided to go to the next room. However, when I tried to open the sliding door, I heard a voice, mixed in with the sound of thunder.
Asahi continues, with a shivering voice, saying he'll never forget what he heard, together with the intertwined figures, turning into shadows.
Asahi: Amidst soft panting and moaning, I heard "I love you". It was the same voice our mother used when she hugged us. So nothing has changed, I remember thinking. Isn't that awful? The words were just the same, and yet...
Megumi: ...what about Kotoha?
Asahi: She wasn't wearing anything. Her thin body was shaking in the darkness of the room, as she was completely submitted to our mother's tongue, trailing across her skin. She did let out sounds. The thunder echoed with them, as Kotoha's shadow arched her back (part of me - a considerably big part of me, a HUGE part of me - is here like "is there really any need to add some of these details?" It's all so sickening and also plays into how unsettling the apartment scene is. Still, what the hell, Asahi...).

At this point Megumi feels the urge to tell Asahi to stop and shut the hell up (well of course, with him basically adding some very unnecessary details that make it worse and really aren't needed!!). But she doesn't. She realizes she would have no right to stand in front of Kotoha if she couldn't even bear just the mere recollection of her pain. Like...she had to endure that and I can't even hear about it? Another thing Megumi realizes is Kotoha's preoccupation with those next door hearing her had her roots in her child self not wanting her brother next door to hear that, back then.
Asahi: I was too scared, that day. So, I didn't say anything. And...not just that day. I kept being unable to do anything at all. The following morning, both Kotoha and our mother acted normally, almost as if that nightmare had been washed away together with the thunderstorm. But when night came, it would happen again. And it was having consequences. Kotoha often dozed off during class, and got scolded by teachers. She would sleep through all the breaks and she didn't have any friends. She wasn't getting enough sleep, after all... (and this are interesting details to consider in regard to Kotoha's growing up, adding to what she told us herself on her school experience).
Megumi: Did Kotoha talk about that to anyone?
Asahi: As far as I know, she hadn't told anyone until I asked her about it. It was one month after that thunder night, that I finally asked her about it. Without getting upset, and with the expression of someone who had given up everything; one that no elementary school kid should ever had, she said...
Megumi: It's my destiny.
Asahi: Eh?
Megumi: Sorry. Not sure why, but I thought that might be what she said.
Asahi: That's exactly right...With that resigned look on her face, she kept repeating that it was her fate.

And here Megumi remembers what Kotoha had said about her name, about its link to her destiny. A destiny decided the moment I was born, just like it was decided for you to be loved. I merely follow it, to where I'm meant to be, to where I'm suited for. Water seeks its own level.

 

Asahi: Still, I wanted to do something! So, I asked when that had started happening, and she told me ever since she was 10. A sixth grader would already understand the meaning of that sort of acts (eeerr...what? Are we sure about that? The awareness around sexuality and sexual act is anything BUT formed at that age!!! Asahi, dude, you're weird). Even so, Kotoha wasn't able to bring herself to talk about it. I had no idea what to do. I mean, Kotoha had been taking baths with our mother ever since she was very little. A mother touching her daughter’s body, surely can't be compared to the same being done by a father, right? When it's a father, touching the body of his daughter who’s going through puberty, it would obviously be an issue, but you can't be sure it could be problematic when it's a mother.

Asahi has a point, thinks Megumi. The nature of physical contact between parent and child differs depending on whether it’s with the same or opposite sex. She finds this creeping dissonance terrifying. In the midst of such a warped situation, a young Kotoha Furuhashi was holding her breath, still.
Megumi: Kotoha was opposed to that, right? (now, you have to bear with me ranting because...come on! Why would you make Megumi ask this, Miss author? Shouldn't that be obvious!? A kid cannot want that...And Megumi is not an idiot, so why is she suddenly an idiot during this conversation!? Drama Megumi would never!!).
Asahi: She loved her mother, but it seemed like she was terrified when it came to those acts (noooo, really? Are you like...super sure, Asahi??). Our mother would dote on Kotoha, normally, but she became a completely different person during sex. She's cry out in this sweet voice, and... (You see, I even take issue with the fact that he refers to it as "sex"...While I was super disturbed writing Part 7, I am...quite irritated writing Part 8. Lots of emotions going on in me, my friends!!)
He pauses, then keeps going.
Asahi: At first, there was really nothing I could do. My own little sister is being sexually assaulted night after night, and I couldn't come up with a single thing to do. I knew the word "rape" and I knew that's what was happening to Kotoha, and yet...It seemed like Kotoha didn't know what to do, either. She knew the meaning of what she was being subjected to, and she understood the sort of emotions directed at her, but at the very core, Kotoha still loved her mother. Enough to endure having her body toyed with by her.
Megumi: Then, how...
Asahi: How did that twisted honeymoon end, you mean? It's laughably cliché, truly. A while had passed after that thunder night, and I decided to have Kotoha sleep in my room. Obviously, our mother tried to oppose me, but there was nothing she could do, since Kotoha herself wanted that. And that's when hell broke loose. Our mother started to be jealous of me, of all people. In her eyes, I wasn't her child, I was just some man who was trying to steal Kotoha from her. So, she began to be violent both toward me, and toward Kotoha who had betrayed her.
And he continues...
Asahi: Ahh, don't worry. Kotoha wasn't abused too badly. There was one time when she sent her outside in the snow wearing nothing but her underwear, though. But even so, our mother still saw Kotoha as her precious little lover. As for me, things were quite harsh, but I was able to protect myself to some extent. After this, Kotoha started to totally hate our mother. Up until then it seemed like she still had some compassion for her, but it dissolved completely (it annoyed me so much how he started this, pointing out how, compared to him, Kotoha didn't get it too bad. Listen, honey, I'm sorry you were beaten of course, but she still got the fuck**ng worst of it all, okay? It's no relief to know her mom didn't beat her too harshly, especially because it's due to the fact that she still saw her as her precious little lover, which is disgusting, so...)
Megumi: And that's when you were able to report everything to the police...
Asahi: Quite the conventional ending, isn't it? But it made everything simpler. Our mother, or rather Sora Hashidate, was arrested on charges of abuse, which freed Kotoha from it. However, the real trouble started after this. 

 

 
He goes on...
Asahi: Kotoha was questioned by the police and told them everything about what had been down to her. How her mother had treated her, what she had been made to do in the same bed with her...everything. Talking about the sexual abuse must have been incredibly painful for Kotoha, but she didn't run away.
Here Megumi thinks, hearing about her not running away: "That's the Kotoha I know".
Megumi: And so, her mother was arrested, right?
Asahi: That's correct. She was arrested for the physical abuse inflicted on Kotoha and me.
He winces slightly, and keeps talking.
Asahi: Kotoha fought back. She was still a child, and she spoke about everything our mother did to her. But the police just brushed it all off, saying "That can't be true". About our mother touching her, about what she made Kotoha do...they said she was just misinterpreting things. Mothers don't sexually assault their daughters. That was their belief.
Megumi: No way...isn't that crazy!?
Asahi: It is. However, the reality is that it's difficult to prosecute sexual abuse of mother on her daughter. Rape between women itself is barely ever prosecuted. That's because rape is defined as the non-consensual insertion of a penis...

That's exactly right. Maybe you already know, but this was the truth, in Japan, when the novel was written. The law was changed only in 2023 (yeah...) to include all sexual acts, even those not involving male genitalia. To justify Megumi's awareness of this - hence her comments about consent in EP1 - they changed her major from Russian literature to law. 

 

Little tangent to share a sad extra regarding this topic, because while the law about rape has changed, not everything else has changed accordingly, and while gems like the Call Me by No Name drama might try and help, not all entertainment puts an effort into moving society forwards...You see, I often check out the first episodes of new drama series (especially if there's someone I know) and this season I veeeery regretfully checked out (tuned out extremely quickly, needless to say) the first episode of a drama about brothels for women (a theme - not brothels for women, but brothels in general - I'm also not a fan of to begin with, but that's my unrelated view). Well, in order to justify the fact that they were not in the business of prostitution, they made sure to tell the audience that what happens there is not sex, because there's no penetration, and what they call "the real deal" (which again...so disheartening, so sad and irritating. Anything not involving male genitalia is...nothing, my friends, didn't you know?) is the only thing that constitutes prostitution, in Japan, where prostitution is """"illegal"""". It isn't, at all. All that stuff IS prostitution, but Japan has its very very very personal concept of prostitution based on this twisted definition of sex. It has changed when it comes to rape, but not overall. That is still what sex legally is, in Japan, so they can have their loophole to justify all sort of "businesses"...
Anyway, I wanted to throw up and I wished a whole month of diarrhea to whoever wrote that series. Very ironical thanks for not taking the opportunity to push forward the mindset about sex of the people (the women, as that's the target audience) watching. But, sorry for the tangent and let's get back to the novel...Asahi just told us and Megumi that prosecuting mother on daughter sexual abuse would be pretty much impossible due to how rape is defined...

Megumi: But Kotoha was undoubtedly hurt!
Asahi: For them, it ended with determining it was a mere case of excessive physical affection between parent and child. Our mother herself testified that it was just regular physical contact, completely devoid of any sexual intent. It was as if all the touching she had been doing of her had never happened. Kotoha got furious, about a place of jurisdiction overlooking something like this. I believe she really didn't want for it all to be treated as if it never happened...
Megumi: And what happened next?
Asahi: That's all. Our mom was sentenced and served one year in prison. Me and Kotoha were taken in by our father and went to live in Akaishi. I was sixteen, Kotoha was thirteen at the time. That's when I changed surname from Hashidate to Furuhashi. Kotoha did the same, but also chose to change her name.
Megumi: Was it Kotoha herself that said she wanted to change her name?
Asahi: Yes, it was her. After our mother was sentenced, Kotoha was lost in her thoughts for a while, and then suddenly said she wanted to change her name.
Megumi: What was the reason?
Asahi: She never told me explicitly, but the reason she stated, when she asked the court for the name change was "Because it reminds me of the nature of the abuse I received".
Megumi: "Because it reminds me of the nature of the abuse I received"?
Asahi: Considerin the kind of mother who gave her the name, I guess it's no weird to come to hate it. On the contrary.
Megumi: So, did she change her name simply because she loathed it?
Asahi: ...let's say it's a name that's understandable to come to loathe.
Novel Megumi appears to be quite clever at times, but also pretty dumb some other times. At this point we know she's wondering if it was really mere aversion to the name that drove Kotoha to change it. But the fact that it isn't just mere aversion, is clearly "hidden" - in plain sight - in the reason she stated. It didn't just remind her of the abuse (which could just mean it was because her mother gave the name to her, or she would call her that, so that connection - given what she had been through - was unbearable). It reminded of the nature, of the content of the abuse. The name has a connection to the type of abuse she endured. It's right there!!! He's telling you everything!!! I can't believe this part made me pissed even at my beloved Megumi!!!

 

Asahi: Kotoha applied for a name change, and her application was accepted. That's how she became Kotoha Furuhashi.
Megumi: This might be a weird question, but...what did you think about it?
Asahi: I honestly thought it was a good idea. To be honest, her real name wasn't exactly a nice word, so...Adults would sometimes look at her strangely when she introduced herself (another HUGE hint, super meaningful if paired with all the rest). But...
Megumi: But?
Asahi: I also felt a bit sad. When I first started elementary school, I remember feeling happy during kanji lessons, thinking about the fact that she was my little sister (Is this supposed to refer to the name contrast between his morning sun and her night, or that he was familiar with a kanji character his classmates didn't know? Maybe I'm tired but I'm not sure about the point of this line).
Anyway, this is when Asahi smiles, and Megumi notices his smile resembles Kotoha's.
Asahi: And I guess that's all I can tell you. What do you think? (Oh, this is all? This is all? You told her literally everything!)
Megumi: Honestly, I feel quite overwhelmed. I mean, I assumed that something had happened to her, but...

And here Megumi thinks back about that (cursed!) time at Kotoha's place, about how Kotoha kept going on, almost as if she was controlled by someone, and it's painful how it makes it so easy to imagine Kotoha trying to desperately respond to her mother's actions... Thank you so much, that scene didn't already make me feel sick enough! I needed this additional comment!

Megumi: Is there something I can do for her?
Asahi: ...I don't know. I myself, haven't been able to do anything for her, after all. We're really different, me and Kotoha. We've always been. I hate it. She's strong, smart, and she's always been brilliant.
Megumi: She told me the same thing. That you and her were practically opposites. However, the way she said it made it seem like you were the well-adjusted one. You two really are similar.
Asahi: You think so?
He stays quite for a bit, then:
Asahi: Even before she was born, it was decided that I would be her counterpart. Not as in her opposite, but as in left and right, you know? Two sides. That's even more reason why I was the only one who could've protected her, and yet...

It was clear that he felt a strong sense of guilt around the fact that he couldn't fulfill his duty as a big brother. But Megumi felt like he was burdened with another curse. There was something she wanted to ask very badly, but she would never. Where was Asahi, when your mother was holding Kotoha up in her arms and when she was kissing her out in the sunlight? The truth is that he also wanted to chase after their mother, isn't it? This is a veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery unsettling thing (on top of all the other unsettling things), I know, but the idea that part of young Asahi might've felt jealous of Kotoha for stealing all of their mother's affection (yes, even in that twisted sick way) is extremely, extremely realistic and understandable...While thinking all this, what Megumi says instead is:

Megumi: I believe you're a good big brother. At the very least, you are providing some support to Kotoha.
Asahi: I really hope that's true...
And he continues.
Asahi: There is something that's bugging me.
Megumi: What is it?
A: You really aren't going to ask me for the answer, are you?
Megumi: Eh?
Asahi: I know Kotoha's real name. It might not be fair for me to tell you, but the name-guessing game is pretty absurd itself. The number of existing words is huge, but the answer is only one. And there's barely anyone who knows her previous name. Considering this, her demand is truly unreasonable.
We're told that Megumi thinks he's right. That the possibilities are vast (are they...!?!?), and she has only one chance to guess (true), even though she doesn't know the amount of characters in the name (true, but she knows it's not just one character, or it wouldn't be consistent with one of the hints...), or what it starts with (really!?!?! Are you actively trying to annoy me!?). I know, I know, I know and I am considering the extent to which I'm speaking from hindsight, from knowing the name already. There is part of that for sure, I acknowledge it. But it's not just that! I mean, we have at least three very big hints that restrict the choices considerably. The "Yo", the link to the type of abuse, the context/interpretation making its meaning bad, the references to being opposite/counterpart to Asahi...Try and see how many options are there! I'm serious. Try! I invite you to do that because that's exactly what I did when the drama was airing. There are not many options at all!!! So, allow me to stick with my impression that novel Megumi isn't particularly bright, at least in this final part of the story! 

Back to Asahi talking about revealing Kotoha's name.
Asahi: You should just avoid mentioning that you heard it from me. Just pretend you guessed it yourself, and it should be fine. Then you might have to build up your deductive process from there, but once you know the answer I believe it'll be easy. It is an especially peculiar name, after all.
Megumi: Maybe you're right, but...how should I say it? I feel like if I heard the answer from someone else, I won't be able to stand by Kotoha's side anymore.

If Kotoha's previous name is the key, Megumi thinks, then the hints must be hidden in the memories she's had with her until now (yeah, and... also in all the crucial, determining and extremely revealing information Asahi has told you, maybe? Just maybe!!). It's only now that Megumi realizes she hasn't given up on Kotoha (really? She was trying to reach out to her right before meeting Asahi!). She's still making an effort to keep being by her side.

Asahi: Earlier, you asked me what you could do for Kotoha.
Megumi: ...I did, yes.
Asahi: Then, I want you to call her. I'm sure you're now the only one who can call out that name.

Then Asahi leaves, and Megumi remains alone in the cafè.
The first thing she starts thinking about is the legislation around rape (in 2017 it was updated to include also males as potential victims, but the definition of intercourse was still bound to the insertion of male genitalia at the time), and how that first night, Kotoha said that what she was doing was not going to be considered rape. Now she wonders what she was feeling when she said that (she had experienced on her own skin, through her own suffering, that it wasn't considered rape, after all...).

What Kotoha endured as a child was undoubtedly rape. But legally speaking, it was impossible for sexual intercourse to happen between Sora Hashidate and Kotoha Furuhashi, just like it was impossible for it to happen between Megumi Yotsugi and Furuhashi Kotoha. Megumi does some research and finds info about a case in Sweden, where woman on woman rape was considered as such. But this couldn't happen in Japan. They would have to give it another name. If they were to define the acts Sora perpetrated on Kotoha using another word, Megumi thinks, it should be violence. She also thinks, aware of being biased while doing so, that the best suited word to describe the acts between Kotoha and her would be love (this was cute...).

Megumi's considerations continue. I've basically been transcribing the novel at this point...Whatever.
Anyway, if Kotoha hates Megumi, and if that act itself is violence, then the two things could be connected by an equal sign. I hate you, so I hurt you. Simple, right? Is it, though? Megumi remembers the night she first touched Kotoha's body, the exhilaration she felt, how surprisingly high Kotoha's body temperature was. Was she, even then, filled with hatred and malice?
It was violence... It was love... If neither of those statements can be 100% proven ("proof" with us until the end, my friends), what is it that they had been doing? It wouldn't be just nothing. Naturally, Megumi wants to believe it was love, rather than violence. She doesn't want to think that Kotoha's last words were proof of violence.

She keeps thinking about what's gonna happen if she guesses the name. What is going to change? Will she be able to stay by Kotoha's side? Will the curse be lifted, leading them to a happy ending? What would it become of them? Megumi remembers Miki's words, defining her as a beacon of righteousness. Miki had actually first told her that not long after the incident, before the call with Sanae. She said "You're a beacon of righteousness. So, you just have to keep moving, because the path you walk will be the right one." (Miki is so drama Tabane coded in this; or rather, drama Tabane is so Miki coded!)
Megumi doesn't fully believe those words, but there's some truth to them. What she has to do now is move forward. It's to bring light to Kotoha's name. The rest, all the stuff about proof and whatnot, can come after that. In the next, and final, post, we'll go through Megumi's detective time as she reaches the answer, and we'll go with her to meet Kotoha at the aquarium.

I hope my rants and tangents didn't annoy you too much, but...this is me, and when I feel like I can't help it, I prefer to just let it out. I'm really looking forward to your thoughts about this part, as it presents very significant differences compared to the drama adaptation (Asahi's role, first and foremost, and then of course, the story about the abuse). And well, until next time, which is going to mark the very end of this series of posts!