What an episode! Last week I was all over how funny the first half was, but this week...I've forgotten about the first half fun stuff after watching the end...Let's talk about it.
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It's now only a vague, faint memory, that of me watching the scene with Ayaka's junior telling her she was willing to help (about her staying another night), and thinking up jokes about a threesome... (sorry, I'm dumb like that sometimes. Don't say always!).
But really, this episode was sort of heavy even in the first half, with the marriage narrative, Hiroko made to look back and realize that even though the reality check has sort of obfuscated it all, she also used to have some aspiration in that direction. Sure, some of us might never have had those in the first place, but it does happen that they simply fade away, as you slowly but surely realize they're not for you to pursue.
And while it's played out as funny, it's clear that it weighs heavily on Hiroko, not only Keiko's admiration (which, to her, feels misguided and undeserved), but the awareness of never having been truly honest, not even with the people she loves. The memories of her past, at this point, appear to be tainted with a shade of regret. She definitely doesn't feel proud to have been a careless womanizer. Which, well, makes sense. It's not merely about having had sex with many women, it's mostly having disregarded their feelings completely just to give in to her desires and impulses.
But really, this episode was sort of heavy even in the first half, with the marriage narrative, Hiroko made to look back and realize that even though the reality check has sort of obfuscated it all, she also used to have some aspiration in that direction. Sure, some of us might never have had those in the first place, but it does happen that they simply fade away, as you slowly but surely realize they're not for you to pursue.
And while it's played out as funny, it's clear that it weighs heavily on Hiroko, not only Keiko's admiration (which, to her, feels misguided and undeserved), but the awareness of never having been truly honest, not even with the people she loves. The memories of her past, at this point, appear to be tainted with a shade of regret. She definitely doesn't feel proud to have been a careless womanizer. Which, well, makes sense. It's not merely about having had sex with many women, it's mostly having disregarded their feelings completely just to give in to her desires and impulses.
Which is...exactly what she thinks she has done at the end of the episode.
To me, it feels like part of her has not caught up with her more general growth.
More specifically, it feels like she has never had an opportunity (she's never given herself one) to reconcile her sexual self with her emotional development and change. Sex seems to be still tied, for Hiroko, to carelessness, recklessness, absence of feelings, hurting the other woman involved. But now there are feelings, she cares and she really doesn't want to hurt the other woman, so how can sex become part of her new life?
In a twisted way, Hiroko's fear around not wanting to hurt Ayaka makes sense, in this frame.
But it's a really unhealthy frame.
It's almost as if her sexual self has not been integrated in her current "whole". It's still another Hiroko, the one that was like a beast. So it might be that in Hiroko's eyes, at the end of Episode 3, (on a full moon) that beast preyed on Ayaka. And of course Hiroko would be devastated by that.
Now, it's obvious that the biggest issue here is still lack of communication (Ayaka did try to talk things through this time as well). If Hiroko were to explain exactly why she has troubles experiencing the sexual side of their relationship, it's not like everything would be solved immediately, but it would be a great start. Ayaka might be much younger, but she has proven time and time again she's strong, determined, serious and devoted. She would be more than happy to work with Hiroko to make things better for the both of them.
Also, honestly? Not to be too hard on Hiroko since that moment was very hard on her as well (the context difference is huge, but there are various reasons it reminded me of that certain CallMeNo episode), but Ayaka deserved better. Well, she didn't seem to have noticed anything being wrong to be fair, which is good, but she did deserve to have a first time with a Hiroko who was positively into having a beautiful time together with her, and who didn't sort of "dissociate" into her "beast" self. There was some sadness to that, for sure.
As she's leaving Ayaka once again super confused, Hiroko is in a terrible mental state. She feels undeserving of her sister's admiration (honest who!?), she might want to marry but she can't get married, she can't even just happily tell her niece to come visit her, she fears Ayaka will leave her due to her behavior (resembling that of her own dad), and she can't experience sex with her without being convinced it means she's not treasuring her...
The final part was so dense I really don't feel to comment much on the other things (oh, but big shout out to Room Man, coming back from Season 1 to provide a new opportunity for Ayaka!! Regardless of how it went, thank you, Room Man! Also, hello Ayaka's junior. You're cute!). I don't know, am I reading too much into the situation, making it more dramatic than it's supposed to be (it is AyaHiro, after all...)? No matter what, that's how it all felt to me, so these are my thoughts. I would be definitely curious to hear yours!
To me, it feels like part of her has not caught up with her more general growth.
More specifically, it feels like she has never had an opportunity (she's never given herself one) to reconcile her sexual self with her emotional development and change. Sex seems to be still tied, for Hiroko, to carelessness, recklessness, absence of feelings, hurting the other woman involved. But now there are feelings, she cares and she really doesn't want to hurt the other woman, so how can sex become part of her new life?
In a twisted way, Hiroko's fear around not wanting to hurt Ayaka makes sense, in this frame.
But it's a really unhealthy frame.
It's almost as if her sexual self has not been integrated in her current "whole". It's still another Hiroko, the one that was like a beast. So it might be that in Hiroko's eyes, at the end of Episode 3, (on a full moon) that beast preyed on Ayaka. And of course Hiroko would be devastated by that.
Now, it's obvious that the biggest issue here is still lack of communication (Ayaka did try to talk things through this time as well). If Hiroko were to explain exactly why she has troubles experiencing the sexual side of their relationship, it's not like everything would be solved immediately, but it would be a great start. Ayaka might be much younger, but she has proven time and time again she's strong, determined, serious and devoted. She would be more than happy to work with Hiroko to make things better for the both of them.
Also, honestly? Not to be too hard on Hiroko since that moment was very hard on her as well (the context difference is huge, but there are various reasons it reminded me of that certain CallMeNo episode), but Ayaka deserved better. Well, she didn't seem to have noticed anything being wrong to be fair, which is good, but she did deserve to have a first time with a Hiroko who was positively into having a beautiful time together with her, and who didn't sort of "dissociate" into her "beast" self. There was some sadness to that, for sure.
As she's leaving Ayaka once again super confused, Hiroko is in a terrible mental state. She feels undeserving of her sister's admiration (honest who!?), she might want to marry but she can't get married, she can't even just happily tell her niece to come visit her, she fears Ayaka will leave her due to her behavior (resembling that of her own dad), and she can't experience sex with her without being convinced it means she's not treasuring her...
The final part was so dense I really don't feel to comment much on the other things (oh, but big shout out to Room Man, coming back from Season 1 to provide a new opportunity for Ayaka!! Regardless of how it went, thank you, Room Man! Also, hello Ayaka's junior. You're cute!). I don't know, am I reading too much into the situation, making it more dramatic than it's supposed to be (it is AyaHiro, after all...)? No matter what, that's how it all felt to me, so these are my thoughts. I would be definitely curious to hear yours!
Now, let's check out the preview for EP4!
[Eng Subs] AyaHiro 2 Episode 4 Preview 🐇🦌
— SapphicLoner (アリ) (@thesapphicloner) July 11, 2025
Are we ready for Sayuringo and Jun making things even more challenging for our lovely but troubled pair?
Hi-ro-ko, get a fu**ing grip, my gurl! 😤
And Risa, how could you!?!?! 😤#あやひろ2 pic.twitter.com/Qi617fa1UX
The not too bad thing is that it seems like at least Hiroko will be back in her doting mode (instead of growing super cold towards Ayaka, and avoiding her, like I was fearing she might start doing). Ayaka is still trying hard to understand what's up, which leads her once again to the bar with all our ladies. And that's how she'll meet Jun. She better be giving some REAL good advice, because I'm already mad at her...Or maybe at Risa for being so easily enchanted. Poor Lady Kyouko!! 😤
And well, I'm just as curious as you all, as to how and why Hiroko ends up like that with Sayuringo's character. I hope, I seriously hope it's a misunderstanding à la Chaser Game W2, but we shall see...
I don't want to see Ayaka hurt any more!!
And well, I'm just as curious as you all, as to how and why Hiroko ends up like that with Sayuringo's character. I hope, I seriously hope it's a misunderstanding à la Chaser Game W2, but we shall see...
I don't want to see Ayaka hurt any more!!
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