Are you ready to get over the entirety of the hotel scene, everything that comes after it and even meet the Witch herself? If you are, then...what are you waiting for? Time to get reading! Enjoy!
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So, the room intercom rang, remember? That's where we were!
Our, at the time veeeery tense, Megumi literally jumps, tumbles off the bed and opens the door.
It's our guest, the honey toast, my friends, the queen of mood killers.
Kotoha gets off the bed and asks why the heck she ordered such a party-like dessert, Megumi is like "Well, then you could've chosen yourself!". The honey toast felt like the ideal solution from the super over the top line-up that was presented to her (she actually just picked the first one from the top).
We're informed, not that there was any need to, that the mood from before was completely gone, and Kotoha was all over the honey toast (kind of like in the drama, right? She even turns sort of childish).
Things go on just like in our beloved series, with Kotoha wondering if the petal can be eaten, Megumi trying it and saying it's bitter and tastes grassy. The dialogue about the petal is identical (as always, leaving aside the fact that Kotoha speaks in her dialect). While she's nibbing at the petal, at one point Megumi perceives a faint feeling of lips touching, as Kotoha steals part of the petal from her mouth. She then comments on it being bitter, as if nothing happened, like we've seen many times (I mean, I assume you've also seen it many times like the person writing; otherwise...you should!).
Then there's a little something I really wonder about. The following line (which is not per se that important) was changed in a way that really alters the meaning from the novel, but I can't understand why they would do it. So, as for how the line is phrased in the drama, Kotoha says "Next time we come here, they might laugh at us, saying 'it's the girls who ate the decorative flowers!'". The subject is omitted, but everything points to it being them). But the line in the novel is different. It's literally "When the hotel staff comes, they'll probably be like 'those girls ate the decorative flowers!'". I can't wrap my head around this decision, but the difference is clear. In both cases the hotel staff makes fun of them for eating the flowers, but the drama version leaves the implication that they themselves might go back to the hotel again, unlike the novel version. Was that the intent? I don't know, honestly! But moving on from this detail...
Now, are you familiar with the sort of emotional heaviness this moment has in the episode? The way Kotoha laughs, but ever since she took the petal from her mouth, Megumi gets very quiet, and looks down, and then at Kotoha, before the rest happens? That condition (?), which I love soooooo much, is not detailed at all in the novel. We're just told that, while listening to Kotoha's laugh (after that line), Megumi slowly embraces her body. Kotoha's body felt much thinner and more vulnerable than the one in the dream. Megumi can barely breathe at this point and wonders what the heck she's gonna do if just hugging Kotoha makes her feel so overwhelmed...But this is just right, she concludes, because how she feels has to match the weight of what she's going to say. So Megumi says them once again, those words that had previously been negated under the rain.
Megumi: I like you, Kotoha.
Even now Megumi doesn't know how it all got to that point. Everything had gone mad ever since she picked Kotoha up from the garbage dump. However, she feels like in the midst of that madness, the only thing she really must not let go of, is Kotoha Furuhashi herself.
Now there's a tiny (but that feels meaningful to me, somehow) difference in Kotoha's line in response to Megumi's confession. Remember? In the drama she says "I can't say the same about you" (which I think feels harsher put like this in English...Hm, consider the "can't" really more like an "I'm unable". I think it suits better). Anyway, the line in the novel adds a liiiiittle something, and it's like this: "I can't say the same about you so easily/so freely". The reason why, even though I find it interesting, I don't think it's a huge deal they left it out is because I think the drama line still properly conveys Kotoha's difficulty in openly expressing affection, which I think is ultimately the point of it. So...why the hell did I write about it anyway? I don't know. I guess I wanted you to know!
We're told it'd be a lie to say Megumi didn't feel hurt by Kotoha's words (well, duh!). She really couldn't grasp the logic that moved Kotoha. Anyway, most importantly, my friends, I think they (Matsugasako!!!!!) did something really GREAT for the moment that follows. Stay with me and MeguKoto.
Megumi: And yet (considering "you can't say you like me" implied) you don't mind me doing this?
Kotoha: That's...well, no. I don't mind.
Megumi: That's fine, then. As long as you're okay with it.
That's it. That's all there is in the novel. I swear! There is no Kotoha saying she doesn't mind because she's used to it anyway (which I love from the drama. This is one of the rare moments when we sort of experience a fragment of Yotogi, and Kotoha is not covered by her mask), and there is no Megumi strongly, decisively and lovingly saying that she doesn't want to do anything that Kotoha doesn't want, which is also such a precious and important line. So, yeah, very very happy for the adaptation of this part!
Now, are you familiar with the sort of emotional heaviness this moment has in the episode? The way Kotoha laughs, but ever since she took the petal from her mouth, Megumi gets very quiet, and looks down, and then at Kotoha, before the rest happens? That condition (?), which I love soooooo much, is not detailed at all in the novel. We're just told that, while listening to Kotoha's laugh (after that line), Megumi slowly embraces her body. Kotoha's body felt much thinner and more vulnerable than the one in the dream. Megumi can barely breathe at this point and wonders what the heck she's gonna do if just hugging Kotoha makes her feel so overwhelmed...But this is just right, she concludes, because how she feels has to match the weight of what she's going to say. So Megumi says them once again, those words that had previously been negated under the rain.
Megumi: I like you, Kotoha.
Even now Megumi doesn't know how it all got to that point. Everything had gone mad ever since she picked Kotoha up from the garbage dump. However, she feels like in the midst of that madness, the only thing she really must not let go of, is Kotoha Furuhashi herself.
Now there's a tiny (but that feels meaningful to me, somehow) difference in Kotoha's line in response to Megumi's confession. Remember? In the drama she says "I can't say the same about you" (which I think feels harsher put like this in English...Hm, consider the "can't" really more like an "I'm unable". I think it suits better). Anyway, the line in the novel adds a liiiiittle something, and it's like this: "I can't say the same about you so easily/so freely". The reason why, even though I find it interesting, I don't think it's a huge deal they left it out is because I think the drama line still properly conveys Kotoha's difficulty in openly expressing affection, which I think is ultimately the point of it. So...why the hell did I write about it anyway? I don't know. I guess I wanted you to know!
We're told it'd be a lie to say Megumi didn't feel hurt by Kotoha's words (well, duh!). She really couldn't grasp the logic that moved Kotoha. Anyway, most importantly, my friends, I think they (Matsugasako!!!!!) did something really GREAT for the moment that follows. Stay with me and MeguKoto.
Megumi: And yet (considering "you can't say you like me" implied) you don't mind me doing this?
Kotoha: That's...well, no. I don't mind.
Megumi: That's fine, then. As long as you're okay with it.
That's it. That's all there is in the novel. I swear! There is no Kotoha saying she doesn't mind because she's used to it anyway (which I love from the drama. This is one of the rare moments when we sort of experience a fragment of Yotogi, and Kotoha is not covered by her mask), and there is no Megumi strongly, decisively and lovingly saying that she doesn't want to do anything that Kotoha doesn't want, which is also such a precious and important line. So, yeah, very very happy for the adaptation of this part!
While Megumi says those last words, she starts to cry. Yes, the entire part about crying is also different.
As the tears fall on her skin, which was hot from nervousness and excitement, they feel so cold Megumi doesn't even realize they were tears, at first. This is when she adds "It's not a matter of risk or proof. I want to touch you". We're informed that Megumi is happy enough with the fact that Kotoha didn't reject her (remember that she's been worried this entire time that Kotoha might do that, just like she did with Murata!), with the fact that Kotoha felt like entrusting herself to her. Then Megumi lays Kotoha's frail body back on the bed. One of Megumi's tears falls on Kotoha's bare stomach, making her flinch. This is when Kotoha asks Megumi why she's crying, and we get the same line from the drama, about her not knowing the reason why she started crying; that it just happened. Kotoha's line, when she says she doesn't get Meguchi and she's never been able to understand her ever since they met, is also similar to that in the drama. Then let me throw you this bit from the novel as it is.
Megumi doesn't understand Kotoha. Kotoha doesn't understand Megumi. It's in this endless lack of mutual understanding, that Megumi is taking Kotoha's hand.
Megumi also does NOT confess once more (unlike in the drama), before Kotoha thanks her for falling in love with her. Kotoha says that right here, after the lines about not understanding Megumi. Then we're told that Megumi would never forget that Kotoha sounded like she was about to cry, while saying those words...We're also told that she hoped that all those stories about curses could end right then and there. No hug, here (rushed by Kotoha/Osaki in the drama because she had started tearing up and she shouldn't have - the preciousity of it all shall never be forgotten)!
There is also no graphic description of what happens in the love hotel. We're just informed that they did all that was necessary to do (😂). Megumi did everything she could do to prove herself to Kotoha, who patiently watched over her clumsy self (awww, Megumiiiiiiiiiiiii). A cute and funny detail, though!! Megumi was actually scolded by Kotoha at one point, when she bit a little too hard on her collarbone! She actually just meant to leave a hickey! Megumi really wanted to leave a mark on Kotoha's white skin (you have surely noted the lack of the hickey narrative in the bed scene, right? It is not there. It is not there! Kotoha's melt-inducing "now we match" is not also there). Megumi could barely remember anything about what happened, but the faint little moans Kotoha let out, filled her heart completely (speaking of little moans, and may this stay between us, the one from the bed scene was not in the script; it's only interesting because the sound Kotoha makes while Megumi is leaving the hickey is in the script. I know this because the part of the script that was visible in the cafè collaboration was the hotel one...but you didn't hear it from me, ok!? Seriously! Pinky promise!).
After everything (no shower then second run in the novel), they enjoy some pillow talk, as Megumi looks back at how it all unfolded. She confessed her feelings, she wasn't taken seriously, she did what was asked of her to prove she was serious, and she was thanked for her feelings. So, well...it went better than it did for Murata, right? But...now what? Kotoha wouldn't be clear about that, so...
Megumi: So...just to make sure, does this mean we're lovers, now?
Kotoha: What do you mean? We've been lovers the entire time (while laughing).
Megumi: Eh? Hm...right, I guess so (poor Megumi, she just wants some reassuranceeee!!!).
Megumi feels like things are turning upside down all over the place, but as soon as Kotoha kisses her neck, all the worry and anguish vanish. I bet they do, Megumi!!
What? Kotoha asking Megumi how was her first time, and then telling her she thought it was good? Not in the novel. What? The part with Kotoha asking Megumi to get closer so she won't be afraid, and a Megumi so stunning I'm shivering as I think about her holding her? Also not in the novel. Are we on the floor kissing Miki Matsugasako's feet yet? We should be!
As the tears fall on her skin, which was hot from nervousness and excitement, they feel so cold Megumi doesn't even realize they were tears, at first. This is when she adds "It's not a matter of risk or proof. I want to touch you". We're informed that Megumi is happy enough with the fact that Kotoha didn't reject her (remember that she's been worried this entire time that Kotoha might do that, just like she did with Murata!), with the fact that Kotoha felt like entrusting herself to her. Then Megumi lays Kotoha's frail body back on the bed. One of Megumi's tears falls on Kotoha's bare stomach, making her flinch. This is when Kotoha asks Megumi why she's crying, and we get the same line from the drama, about her not knowing the reason why she started crying; that it just happened. Kotoha's line, when she says she doesn't get Meguchi and she's never been able to understand her ever since they met, is also similar to that in the drama. Then let me throw you this bit from the novel as it is.
Megumi doesn't understand Kotoha. Kotoha doesn't understand Megumi. It's in this endless lack of mutual understanding, that Megumi is taking Kotoha's hand.
Megumi also does NOT confess once more (unlike in the drama), before Kotoha thanks her for falling in love with her. Kotoha says that right here, after the lines about not understanding Megumi. Then we're told that Megumi would never forget that Kotoha sounded like she was about to cry, while saying those words...We're also told that she hoped that all those stories about curses could end right then and there. No hug, here (rushed by Kotoha/Osaki in the drama because she had started tearing up and she shouldn't have - the preciousity of it all shall never be forgotten)!
There is also no graphic description of what happens in the love hotel. We're just informed that they did all that was necessary to do (😂). Megumi did everything she could do to prove herself to Kotoha, who patiently watched over her clumsy self (awww, Megumiiiiiiiiiiiii). A cute and funny detail, though!! Megumi was actually scolded by Kotoha at one point, when she bit a little too hard on her collarbone! She actually just meant to leave a hickey! Megumi really wanted to leave a mark on Kotoha's white skin (you have surely noted the lack of the hickey narrative in the bed scene, right? It is not there. It is not there! Kotoha's melt-inducing "now we match" is not also there). Megumi could barely remember anything about what happened, but the faint little moans Kotoha let out, filled her heart completely (speaking of little moans, and may this stay between us, the one from the bed scene was not in the script; it's only interesting because the sound Kotoha makes while Megumi is leaving the hickey is in the script. I know this because the part of the script that was visible in the cafè collaboration was the hotel one...but you didn't hear it from me, ok!? Seriously! Pinky promise!).
After everything (no shower then second run in the novel), they enjoy some pillow talk, as Megumi looks back at how it all unfolded. She confessed her feelings, she wasn't taken seriously, she did what was asked of her to prove she was serious, and she was thanked for her feelings. So, well...it went better than it did for Murata, right? But...now what? Kotoha wouldn't be clear about that, so...
Megumi: So...just to make sure, does this mean we're lovers, now?
Kotoha: What do you mean? We've been lovers the entire time (while laughing).
Megumi: Eh? Hm...right, I guess so (poor Megumi, she just wants some reassuranceeee!!!).
Megumi feels like things are turning upside down all over the place, but as soon as Kotoha kisses her neck, all the worry and anguish vanish. I bet they do, Megumi!!
What? Kotoha asking Megumi how was her first time, and then telling her she thought it was good? Not in the novel. What? The part with Kotoha asking Megumi to get closer so she won't be afraid, and a Megumi so stunning I'm shivering as I think about her holding her? Also not in the novel. Are we on the floor kissing Miki Matsugasako's feet yet? We should be!
Then, we're told that...not much changed after what happened in the hotel. Or better, they started going to uni together, Kotoha would stay at Megumi's place and, well...there were some differences in how they spent their time before sleeping. What Megumi rejected on that first night, now she was quietly doing with Kotoha regularly, in that same bed (I will say...it does feel a bit like the gravity of Kotoha's actions in the beginning of the story is downplayed a bit in the novel; never in the drama. What Megumi rejected back then is not making love with Kotoha; it was literally being assaulted by a stranger!!). Gradually, Kotoha stops acting like a sort of supervisor, and begins behaving more relaxed and casually (yes, we're still talking about them making love). Once either of them would take the first step, the rest followed naturally (it's so cute to know that it wouldn't always be Megumi or Kotoha to initiate). We're even told Megumi became good at leaving hickeys!
Then we jump into one of these occasions, with Kotoha gasping as Megumi runs her tongue under her breasts (should I write these details? I don't know, whatever, just take 'em ahah). Kotoha praises her, with a touch of surprise, saying she's gotten really good, and Megumi, almost childishly gets like "Eh!? Really!? Should I do it more!? Or should I move on?", and Kotoha basically tells her to shut up and just keep going! And she says that while covering her mouth with her wrist. Now, why do I tell you this? Not just because it's ho--I mean, because it's an interesting detail, but really because the fact that Kotoha holds back on letting out her voice (even though Megumi wished she wouldn't) is important. Megumi actually tells here that (while trying hard not to think about the fact that Kotoha had entertained sexual relations with many people before) and Kotoha answers "...I can't. The neighbours will hear". Megumi points out that the walls aren't that thin. After saying "That's not it...", Kotoha purses her lips. Annoyed by that, Megumi nibs at her skin, and Kotoha hits her on the back of the head to reprimand her. Why are they so cute?
Megumi and Kotoha make love for several times (you go, girls!), then Kotoha, with a slightly flushed face (which I'm telling you because I want you to imagine her, and because we're told that seeing it made Megumi feel a sense of accomplishment ahah) says the following: "Sex between girls is scary, because there's no end to it". Megumi considers those words and says "Ahhh, you're right. It can be hard to know where to stop". Now please let me go on a little tangent, before continuing.
This isn't the first time I read or hear this narrative. Is it for you? Probably not.
And I've always found it a bit weird, you know?
This sort of things are somewhat determined in an arbitrary way when you think about it. Let's say we decide that sex between two people ends when both parties are satisfied (I know some may actually disagree, but for the sake of explaining, let's temporarily agree on that), that could mean a lot of things, because not everyone experiences satisfactions in the same way, nor is gratified by the same things. What I get to, ultimately, when I consider this argument, is that what's actually weird, is that heterosexual sex is generally considered over when the man experiences satisfaction. If the woman does and the man doesn't (I know, a very unrealistic scenario ahah) you can bet ANYTHING the man wouldn't consider it over, but the other way around? For many couples, in many occasions, that's when it's normal to consider it over. Then of course when it comes to two women, we have the element of physical possibility of going on and on, without necessarily stopping, regardless of the amount and times of satisfaction reached (that said, the woman in a heterosexual couple could also be satisfied more and more times, so why is it so easy to call it over for her, just because the same isn't true for the male partner?). So, sex between women does indeed exist in a wider frame (or to be more precise, it CAN exist in such a frame), and I personally appreciate that, but when I think about this specific topic, I always end up just finding sad how narrow the frame for heterosexual sex is. If women were valued more in that context, I don't think it would be perceived as so surprising or strange that sex between women is so broad and so not easily confinable as an experience.
Ok, the tangent is over! Forgive me!
Then we jump into one of these occasions, with Kotoha gasping as Megumi runs her tongue under her breasts (should I write these details? I don't know, whatever, just take 'em ahah). Kotoha praises her, with a touch of surprise, saying she's gotten really good, and Megumi, almost childishly gets like "Eh!? Really!? Should I do it more!? Or should I move on?", and Kotoha basically tells her to shut up and just keep going! And she says that while covering her mouth with her wrist. Now, why do I tell you this? Not just because it's ho--I mean, because it's an interesting detail, but really because the fact that Kotoha holds back on letting out her voice (even though Megumi wished she wouldn't) is important. Megumi actually tells here that (while trying hard not to think about the fact that Kotoha had entertained sexual relations with many people before) and Kotoha answers "...I can't. The neighbours will hear". Megumi points out that the walls aren't that thin. After saying "That's not it...", Kotoha purses her lips. Annoyed by that, Megumi nibs at her skin, and Kotoha hits her on the back of the head to reprimand her. Why are they so cute?
Megumi and Kotoha make love for several times (you go, girls!), then Kotoha, with a slightly flushed face (which I'm telling you because I want you to imagine her, and because we're told that seeing it made Megumi feel a sense of accomplishment ahah) says the following: "Sex between girls is scary, because there's no end to it". Megumi considers those words and says "Ahhh, you're right. It can be hard to know where to stop". Now please let me go on a little tangent, before continuing.
This isn't the first time I read or hear this narrative. Is it for you? Probably not.
And I've always found it a bit weird, you know?
This sort of things are somewhat determined in an arbitrary way when you think about it. Let's say we decide that sex between two people ends when both parties are satisfied (I know some may actually disagree, but for the sake of explaining, let's temporarily agree on that), that could mean a lot of things, because not everyone experiences satisfactions in the same way, nor is gratified by the same things. What I get to, ultimately, when I consider this argument, is that what's actually weird, is that heterosexual sex is generally considered over when the man experiences satisfaction. If the woman does and the man doesn't (I know, a very unrealistic scenario ahah) you can bet ANYTHING the man wouldn't consider it over, but the other way around? For many couples, in many occasions, that's when it's normal to consider it over. Then of course when it comes to two women, we have the element of physical possibility of going on and on, without necessarily stopping, regardless of the amount and times of satisfaction reached (that said, the woman in a heterosexual couple could also be satisfied more and more times, so why is it so easy to call it over for her, just because the same isn't true for the male partner?). So, sex between women does indeed exist in a wider frame (or to be more precise, it CAN exist in such a frame), and I personally appreciate that, but when I think about this specific topic, I always end up just finding sad how narrow the frame for heterosexual sex is. If women were valued more in that context, I don't think it would be perceived as so surprising or strange that sex between women is so broad and so not easily confinable as an experience.
Ok, the tangent is over! Forgive me!
Let's get back to MeguKoto! Or better, let me add another comment to that phrase, but focused on another part of it: Kotoha's choice of words. She could've defined in many ways that aspect of love-making between women, but she chose to say it's "scary". I don't know about you, but I can't help but link the fact that she associates the potential never-endingness of lesbian sex to something negative such as fear with her past trauma... (sighing to infinity). Now, moving on for real!
So, after Megumi agrees to Kotoha's statement, our traumatized puppy continues...
Kotoha: You're quite passionate, Meguchi. I didn't think you were this kind of girl!
Megumi: You're not one to speak!!
Kotoha: In my case it's...
Megumi: Proof? Ah, no, that was over, wasn't it?
Kotoha: The proof thing was...
Megumi: Destiny, then? I know, I know. So...does this mean this goes against your destiny? (why didn't you let her speak there, Megumiiiii? Why!?!?)
Kotoha: I'm not sure.
What is Kotoha carrying within her? What is she trying to gain by obeying this destiny of hers? Megumi wants to ask her lots of questions, but the words just don't come out (I mean, you could've let her speak just two seconds ago!!). At this point, the name guessing game has turned into a sort of unwritten law for them. One that neither Megumi or Kotoha brought up anymore. Megumi tries her hardest not to think about it at all. She sort of deludes herself into thinking that if only she never guessed Kotoha's real name, then this relationship could continue like this, forever.
More than anything, Megumi was terrified because in that moment, she felt like she would be willing to throw anything away, if only she could make Kotoha hers, right then and there. She couldn't put her finger on when exactly this level of attachment had grown in her. Wooooooooo, that's some heavy, glorious stuff! More, my friend, more...! Megumi was hoping that, instead of fading in a few days, the signs she had left on Kotoha's pale skin would stay there forever. I wish we got a taste of this Megumi boiling of desire to possess Kotoha! I'm honestly loving it! Then...
Kotoha: You know? I had a feeling this would happen.
Megumi: As in, love at first sight or something like that? (No, Meguchi, that's Osaki!)
Kotoha: That side of you is truly impressive (ahah; another one of those!). No, that's not what I mean.
Megumi: Then what do you mean?
Kotoha: The fact that no matter how much I try to escape, I ultimately go back to where I'm meant to be. Even this happening with you, was just probably sort of a curse (despite the talks of curse, Kotoha's face appears calm and peaceful. Megumi wishes she would've said "destiny", instead of curse. Awww, Megumiiii).
Megumi: You're not happy?
Kotoha: I'm not saying I didn't want for this to happen.
Megumi: I'd like for you to say you're happy that it happened.
Kotoha: You're so greedy, Meguchi (she's not greedy! She's perfect)!
For a while, things stay like this, between Megumi and Kotoha. They keep attending university together and, still as lovers, they reach the winter (ahhhhh I wish we got to see them being actual girlfriends! Come on with that season 2, or special, or whatever!). They know their circumstances were uncertain, but they intentionally pretend that was not the case. It becomes such an obvious and natural thing to see them always together, that one day Megumi's friends spot them and Miki shouts "Ah, it's Megumi's girlfriend!", pointing at Kotoha (Sanae scolds her, saying not to point fingers, and Tabane brightly waves her hand their way). Kotoha is a bit confused by that scene...
Kotoha: Meguchi, have you told them about me?
Megumi: Ah, well...yeah, it kind of happened...
Kotoha: There's no way it just "kind of happened".
Then Miki approaches them, all curious...
Miki: This is the first time I've seen you speak! They say you're like...showy or something, but seeing you up close, you seem pretty normal! Ah, I do think you're pretty, though!
Kotoha: ...thanks. You're the girls from International Relations Theory, right?
Miki: Yes! We got Megumi booked all for ourselves, for that class.
Kotoha: That's fine by me...
And then...
Sanae: Hey!
Sanae suddenly jumps in!
Sanae: ...Are you serious about dating Megumi?
Kotoha: Not sure if my "seriousness" measures up to your expectations...
Sanae: I'm telling you. I'm not going to allow you to treat Megumi the same way you've treated all the others.
Kotoha: I see you dislike me quite a bit...I don't remember doing anything to you, though.
And this is when someone else graces us with her voice.
Tabane: Now, now...!
Our lovely angel, Tabane!
Tabane: Personally, I think Kotoha is perfect for Megumi. Isn't it super romantic, to find your destined partner after having wondered around for a while? I think so.
And she continues...
Tabane: At any rate, you like Megumi, after all, don't you? (I wonder if they took inspiration from this when writing Megumi saying "you like me" in Episode 8).
Kotoha: ...I mean, I wouldn't date her if I didn't like her...
Tabane: I see! Roger that!
And Tabane smiles, and we're told that she smiles almost as if she looked right through Kotoha's words, understanding it all. Tabane always has this vibe - even in the drama, I think - of knowing it all, but not in an arrogant kind of way! In a very warm, kindly overlooking sort of way. Anyway, we're also informed of the fact that Megumi thought that Tabane and Kotoha felt similar, in some ways.
Something else we're told, and that we experienced through the series as well, is that Kotoha would never express her affection with words. She would never tell Megumi she liked or loved her. Even when they were making love, Kotoha always felt like she was somehow guarded.
Megumi: Anyway, I like Kotoha. So whatever happens from now on, it's my responsibility.
Kotoha: ...that side of you is quite amazing, Meguchi (one of those again!).
Miki: That's right. Megumi is incredible. She's a light bringer, after all (remember, she said it at the beginning too, then adding that Megumi follows the beacon of righteousness).
Kotoha: Meguchi, have you told them about me?
Megumi: Ah, well...yeah, it kind of happened...
Kotoha: There's no way it just "kind of happened".
Then Miki approaches them, all curious...
Miki: This is the first time I've seen you speak! They say you're like...showy or something, but seeing you up close, you seem pretty normal! Ah, I do think you're pretty, though!
Kotoha: ...thanks. You're the girls from International Relations Theory, right?
Miki: Yes! We got Megumi booked all for ourselves, for that class.
Kotoha: That's fine by me...
And then...
Sanae: Hey!
Sanae suddenly jumps in!
Sanae: ...Are you serious about dating Megumi?
Kotoha: Not sure if my "seriousness" measures up to your expectations...
Sanae: I'm telling you. I'm not going to allow you to treat Megumi the same way you've treated all the others.
Kotoha: I see you dislike me quite a bit...I don't remember doing anything to you, though.
And this is when someone else graces us with her voice.
Tabane: Now, now...!
Our lovely angel, Tabane!
Tabane: Personally, I think Kotoha is perfect for Megumi. Isn't it super romantic, to find your destined partner after having wondered around for a while? I think so.
And she continues...
Tabane: At any rate, you like Megumi, after all, don't you? (I wonder if they took inspiration from this when writing Megumi saying "you like me" in Episode 8).
Kotoha: ...I mean, I wouldn't date her if I didn't like her...
Tabane: I see! Roger that!
And Tabane smiles, and we're told that she smiles almost as if she looked right through Kotoha's words, understanding it all. Tabane always has this vibe - even in the drama, I think - of knowing it all, but not in an arrogant kind of way! In a very warm, kindly overlooking sort of way. Anyway, we're also informed of the fact that Megumi thought that Tabane and Kotoha felt similar, in some ways.
Something else we're told, and that we experienced through the series as well, is that Kotoha would never express her affection with words. She would never tell Megumi she liked or loved her. Even when they were making love, Kotoha always felt like she was somehow guarded.
Megumi: Anyway, I like Kotoha. So whatever happens from now on, it's my responsibility.
Kotoha: ...that side of you is quite amazing, Meguchi (one of those again!).
Miki: That's right. Megumi is incredible. She's a light bringer, after all (remember, she said it at the beginning too, then adding that Megumi follows the beacon of righteousness).
From here, they talk about exchanging contact, and only Sanae decides against it. Very on brand for her, right? Surrounded by Megumi's three friends, Kotoha surprisingly looks like she was having fun, as her girlfriend realizes she's not as unsociable as one might think. If only she got rid of that cynical attitude...
After this, our Megumi and Kotoha watch a movie they had rented. It's a movie about an autistic protagonist that, in order to fulfill her/his dream walks hundreds of miles to deliver her/his screenplay. I don't know if it exists (I don't think so), but the title wasn't mentioned, unlike for Happy End. Anyway, as Kotoha watches the screen all serious, Megumi asks her if she ever had any dreams for her future. Novel Kotoha tells her not to ask weird things, but Megumi is curious. She immediately turns to thinking of Kotoha's past (remembering that she told her she changed her name when she was in middle school), but then...
Kotoha: What about you? What did you want to become, Meguchi?
Megumi: I didn't have that strong of a sense of self, so I never really thought of it, but...Hmm, let's see. I bet it was something like becoming a baker, given that I loved bread.
Kotoha: That's cute.
She says, laughing, and then we get to...
Kotoha: I wanted to become a novelist.
Megumi: A novelist?
Kotoha: Surprising, right?
Megumi: In a way, it is. On the other hand, it also feels like it fits you, somehow. Maybe it's because of your name. Kotoha is very close to Kotoba (which means "words" - none of this is connected with Kotoha first naming herself Scheherazade, in the novel).
Kotoha: You're thinking post name-change. But that was my pre name-change dream.
Megumi: Ah, I see. Then what is your post name-change dream?
Kotoha: Let me think...Hmm, maybe becoming a bride!
And she laughs teasingly, after saying that. Yes, novel Megumi also...
Megumi: ...may I hug you?
Kotoha: It's embarrassing when you ask permission for every little thing!
And Megumi silently hugs her, bringing Kotoha close to her.
Then...
Kotoha: Meguchi, you're getting even weirder lately.
Megumi: Whatever. I don't care if I'm weird. That's how people in love are. They all become a little stupid.
Kotoha: Maybe you're right. I don't know.
Megumi: So there's nothing bad about it. I...
Kotoha: Yeah, I guess it's fine... (she says as she rests her head against Megumi).
Then she continues.
Kotoha: I think I might be losing it, too...
Our babieeeeeeeeeees! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
We're told that Megumi felt so happy that the word "happy" didn't feel enough to express her feelings.
If she could have the future, Megumi didn't care if they never talked about the past again. As long as she could hold on to the warmth within her arms (oh, Megumi...). But...
Megumi did not yet know.
That witches don't die that easily.
And that the curse placed on Kotoha was much deeper than she could've imagined.
Guessing her name was the only way to break Kotoha Furuhashi's curse.
And Megumi Yotsugi will soon get to realize that.
(left this pretty much as it is in the novel, because I thought it was cool!)
Chronologically, we proceed hand in hand with the drama. The scene between MeguKoto and Megumi's friends were different, just as Megumi introducing Kotoha as her girlfriend was, and the scene at Megumi's place was also a bit different, though much closer to the one in the drama (without the influence of Mio unable to keep that "You're so cute!" to herself ahah). So what comes next? You know it!
Megumi: Whatever. I don't care if I'm weird. That's how people in love are. They all become a little stupid.
Kotoha: Maybe you're right. I don't know.
Megumi: So there's nothing bad about it. I...
Kotoha: Yeah, I guess it's fine... (she says as she rests her head against Megumi).
Then she continues.
Kotoha: I think I might be losing it, too...
Our babieeeeeeeeeees! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
We're told that Megumi felt so happy that the word "happy" didn't feel enough to express her feelings.
If she could have the future, Megumi didn't care if they never talked about the past again. As long as she could hold on to the warmth within her arms (oh, Megumi...). But...
Megumi did not yet know.
That witches don't die that easily.
And that the curse placed on Kotoha was much deeper than she could've imagined.
Guessing her name was the only way to break Kotoha Furuhashi's curse.
And Megumi Yotsugi will soon get to realize that.
(left this pretty much as it is in the novel, because I thought it was cool!)
Chronologically, we proceed hand in hand with the drama. The scene between MeguKoto and Megumi's friends were different, just as Megumi introducing Kotoha as her girlfriend was, and the scene at Megumi's place was also a bit different, though much closer to the one in the drama (without the influence of Mio unable to keep that "You're so cute!" to herself ahah). So what comes next? You know it!
The day we jump to, there are rumors around that a suspicious person is trying to force their way into the campus, or possibly waiting for someone at the north gate. Megumi has plans to meet up with Kotoha, and thinks of the rumors as something that would be taken care of soon; nothing that she has to worry about. Not even when she hears the suspicious person is a middle aged woman (in hindsight, she later recognizes this as a significant oversight). After meeting up with Kotoha, Megumi suggests they rent the sequel to the movie they had watched earlier. Kotoha agrees. To keep Kotoha away from the mess at the main gate, Megumi tries to go through the back gate instead. She doesn't know why, but she has this intuitive feeling that Kotoha should not go there. However...
Kotoha: Hm? Why are we going this way?
Megumi: There seems to be some turmoil at the north gate.
Kotoha: Has something happened?
Megumi: It seems like it has, but I don't know anything about it.
Kotoha: I see...
And...just like that, Kotoha starts walking in the direction of the north gate. Megumi doesn't understand why Kotoha could have interest in what was happening but, again, she has a weird feeling. She follows Kotoha, as she gets into the crowd. When she finally gets to see the suspicious person, Megumi is deeply astounded. It was a shockingly beautiful woman, that definitely didn't look like someone who would be considered a "suspicious person". Long tied hair, flowing over her shoulders, wearing what could easily look like a mourning dress. She must've been over 40, and she stood in a very dignified way. We're told she also has a somewhat sensual appeal. Megumi's eyes are glued to her face. If only Kotoha, who was right beside her, didn't suddenly start running, Megumi would've kept looking at that woman for much longer.
After pushing her way through the crowd, Kotoha reaches the woman.
Kotoha: Why are you here!? (the novel mentions her trembling lips, and you might remember Kotoha's lips trembling in the drama, too!)
Sora: Be-because... (we're told she was looking at Kotoha in shock, but with a glimpse of pain and sorrow. And we're also informed about the contrast between the sensual vibe she had and the childish voice she spoke with - OMG Tamao Sato did such a great job).
Kotoha: I'm asking you why (and here we're told about Kotoha having eyes that seemed infused with actual murder intent)!
Sora: I'm-...I'm sorry...I didn't meant to cause you trouble.
Kotoha: Then how dare you come here!? You criminal!
Sora: I-I just...I asked Asahi and, I mean, I know it's not something that could ever be forgiven but, I really wanted to...
Kotoha slaps her before she can mention wanting to apologize.
Kotoha: Don't talk! I don't want to hear it! It doesn't have anything to do with me anymore (this is just like in the drama, and it's also one of my favorite lines delivery from Osaki in the entire series!!)
You might've noticed the difference in the mention of Asahi, and how Sora actually doesn't get to say that she wanted to apologize to them face to face...
Anyway, nobody intervenes and, in the novel, Kotoha shoves Sora on the ground, without Sora trying to touch her before, and straddles her.
Kotoha: Hm? Why are we going this way?
Megumi: There seems to be some turmoil at the north gate.
Kotoha: Has something happened?
Megumi: It seems like it has, but I don't know anything about it.
Kotoha: I see...
And...just like that, Kotoha starts walking in the direction of the north gate. Megumi doesn't understand why Kotoha could have interest in what was happening but, again, she has a weird feeling. She follows Kotoha, as she gets into the crowd. When she finally gets to see the suspicious person, Megumi is deeply astounded. It was a shockingly beautiful woman, that definitely didn't look like someone who would be considered a "suspicious person". Long tied hair, flowing over her shoulders, wearing what could easily look like a mourning dress. She must've been over 40, and she stood in a very dignified way. We're told she also has a somewhat sensual appeal. Megumi's eyes are glued to her face. If only Kotoha, who was right beside her, didn't suddenly start running, Megumi would've kept looking at that woman for much longer.
After pushing her way through the crowd, Kotoha reaches the woman.
Kotoha: Why are you here!? (the novel mentions her trembling lips, and you might remember Kotoha's lips trembling in the drama, too!)
Sora: Be-because... (we're told she was looking at Kotoha in shock, but with a glimpse of pain and sorrow. And we're also informed about the contrast between the sensual vibe she had and the childish voice she spoke with - OMG Tamao Sato did such a great job).
Kotoha: I'm asking you why (and here we're told about Kotoha having eyes that seemed infused with actual murder intent)!
Sora: I'm-...I'm sorry...I didn't meant to cause you trouble.
Kotoha: Then how dare you come here!? You criminal!
Sora: I-I just...I asked Asahi and, I mean, I know it's not something that could ever be forgiven but, I really wanted to...
Kotoha slaps her before she can mention wanting to apologize.
Kotoha: Don't talk! I don't want to hear it! It doesn't have anything to do with me anymore (this is just like in the drama, and it's also one of my favorite lines delivery from Osaki in the entire series!!)
You might've noticed the difference in the mention of Asahi, and how Sora actually doesn't get to say that she wanted to apologize to them face to face...
Anyway, nobody intervenes and, in the novel, Kotoha shoves Sora on the ground, without Sora trying to touch her before, and straddles her.
Kotoha: Why did you come? Why...Why does it always have to be me!? (...sighing to infinity, again)
Sora: I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please, please listen to me!
Sora keeps pleading, while crying, and Kotoha grabs her by the collar.
Kotoha: If you want to go back to prison, then go ahead! But keep me out of it! Die, all by yourself! Just die already! (this is also quite just like the drama version...).
We're told that as Kotoha keeps looking at the woman, who's sobbing uncontrollably, her rage grows even stronger. So, while still keeping her by the collar with a hand, she raises the other one up, vigurously...
That's when Megumi intervenes, exactly like in the drama, grabbing Kotoha's hand and calling out her name. She was afraid Kotoha might actually end up killing that beautiful woman (we get it, that she's beautiful! We get it! The novel makes a huge point of it).
After she crawls out from beneath Kotoha, whose strength had been drained after Megumi grabbed her hand, we're told the woman's eyes are filled with fear but at the same time they're burning with a sort of heat (again, internally clapping for Tamao Satou's performance here!). There's less emphasis on Kotoha's state in this moment. Just saying it because I really like Osaki's portrayal here, after she's stopped by Megumi. But I also like how the novel describes the part right after, saying that "Kotoha suddenly stands up and starts walking, without looking back, almost as if a scene on stage had just ended". Everyone, including bystanders and the guard, look at her go. Megumi starts walking after her, only reaching her side once they're at the crossing, waiting for the green light.
Megumi: ...Kotoha, that person was...
Kotoha: It doesn't matter. Don't ask anything.
Her voice feels weak, and trembles. Then with fingers trembling just as her voice, Kotoha grabs Megumi's sleeve.
Kotoha: Meguchi. Do you wanna come to my place?
Megumi: Eh?
Kotoha: Won't you come over?
It was so out of the blue. There seemed to be no logic behind that invitation. But Kotoha's eyes were wavering, and on the verge of tears, so Megumi felt like she had no choice but to go...
Now, I think the vibe of this scene is a bit different in the drama. Novel Kotoha is breaking down, weakened, as she invites Megumi in her home. Drama Kotoha does appear down too, but mostly she has switched into a detatched stance, that only grows stronger later on. She barely looks at Megumi and keeps her distance, even as they get into the house. I believe this is consistent with the different paths the scenes to follow pan out in the novel vs in the drama. And this feels like the ideal point to stop. We'll start back from the scenes in Kotoha's apartment, and you will have to prepare to some very big differences.
As usual, thank you so much for sticking with me and my posts. I hope you enjoyed and I look forward to reading your thoughts about the variations between the novel and the drama, both in terms of events and even a bit in terms of characterization of Kotoha and Megumi.
As usual, thank you so much for sticking with me and my posts. I hope you enjoyed and I look forward to reading your thoughts about the variations between the novel and the drama, both in terms of events and even a bit in terms of characterization of Kotoha and Megumi.
Ah, my day gets better everytime I see a new post from you. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteKotoha trying not to make sounds so the neighbours don't hear her...Is it because she had to stay quiet when she was being SAed in her childhood? It makes me nauseous to even think about it.
It seems like so much of Kotoha's behavior (the name change, her sleeping around, acting detached, being scared of the night, rain and thunder etc.) is rooted in her trauma. I've been thinking about something lately. Since Kotoha is a CSA survivor, wouldn't therapy be required for her? I'm not Japanese and don't live in Japan so I don't know much about how these issues are handled there. But as much as Megumi loves Kofoha, I feel like love alone is not enough in this case. I wonder if there are any mentions of professional psychological help in the novel or something like that?
I'm also very curious about the witch/the mother. I just can't comprehend why a parent would do this to their child...Yes, some people are simply evil but the mother's mannerisms, the tone of her voice, her overall aura in the drama made me think she was deeply mentally ill or a member of some cult (hence her bizzare and creepy behavior).
Thank you again for this very thorough analysis!
Hey! Thank you so much for reading!
DeleteYour words made me smile! 😊
You'll have to wait a bit to have an answer to some of the things you've mentioned in the comment, but you're definitely on the right path!!
As for therapy, generally speaking I very personally think "required" isn't necessarily the right way to put it. Possibly helpful? Definitely! Trauma this deep might never be really overcome, and I think it's all about finding the healthiest way to cope with it and find joy in life regardless. Therapy can surely be of help to some (likely many) people, maybe even Kotoha, but I guess we'll never know. She seems to have high self awareness and, in a way, her real path to healing - her real life, really!! - has just started now that, thanks to everything that's happened with Megumi, she has dropped her "mask" and has started to free herself from her chains, from her curse. So...who knows? We can only fantasize about it but maybe if moving on she'll find obstacles and challenges too tough to face just with Megumi's support, she might consider therapy!
I know, right? It's the most normal reaction possible to find it absurd for a parent to do such a thing. Even for a person in general, to do such a thing. Let alone to a child. Let alone a parent. Let alone a mother. Sora is clearly unwell, and by her depiction it feels like she's stuck, almost as if part of her never fully, healthily developed...At least that's the feeling I get. This childish quality she has is really one of the most chilling aspects of them all, for me!!
Again, thank you so much for reading! It really means a lot to me! 🙏
I LOVE hearing about the book and drama comparisons. To answer your question, I wonder if they changed Kotoha mentioning going back to the love hotel to either imply that they continued having sex, or because Kotoha was still being guarded, and was still stuck thinking Meguchi was only doing it to prove her love and not because she actually liked or loved her.
ReplyDeleteEverytime I read a new post from you I have to rewatch the series, so thank you! Also, I would love to know where to find all the scenes where they improvised. I think it shows their skills immensely. Lastly, please don't leave out the grit! The book as you know is not out in English so whatever content you need to include please include!
Thank you again for sharing!
Hey, Rolo! Thank you so much for coming back to read the new post!
DeleteThat's an interesting point. I believe that Kotoha was convinced, at that point, that Megumi was serious about her feelings for her. She had "proved" that part of the equation. What I thought about yesterday, considering this, is that maybe they wanted to give a hint to the fact that it was not going to be a one time thing, that they would be continuing making love, that it would become a normal and regular part of their relationship, specifically because the drama didn't have time to actually portray it, unlike the novel! Sort of part of making up for it. We're gonna have to ask Matsugasako herself to know for sure! 🤣
There is no way of knowing all the parts that were improvised, sadly. We know some for sure only because they were mentioned by staff or cast during Twitter Spaces and the like. So, a lot of the date parts in EP3 (after the otter and before the temple) are just Osaki and Mio, the post-hug in EP5 with Mio/Megumi letting out that "you're so cute" to Osaki/Kotoha, and what comes after the first kiss in the bridge scene in EP8 (which I find so shockingly impressive every time I think about it). For example, though, speaking of a scene covered in this post, the part with the honey toast where a piece of it falls and Kotoha tells Megumi to clean it is very clearly improvised in my opinion!
Again, thanks a lot for reading and commenting! 🤗
See I had no idea, Ep3 had improv, I thought Mio falling in the love hotel was a accident, but it was actually in the book! Also, knowing Kotoha wasn't supposed to be tearing up after their hug on the bed is so heart warming. I really like the scene when Megumi is with her friends and Kotoha shows up. The way they call each other's names makes me melt haha. It's a shame they couldn't get at least 10 episodes, or maybe even 12 though I'm not sure if there's enough content for 12. A whole episode dedicated to "in love" Megumi and Kotoha would have been cute! Thank as always for sharing.
ReplyDeletePS.:I saw your reply under Part 4 and I plan to reread it to reply appropriately!
Those are all things that were only said by Eda and Kamiura in the Twitter Spaces, after all, so I guess most viewers wouldn't know, which is a pity! 🥹
DeleteI also really appreciate those details because they reveal just how much into the characters and into the stories Osaki and Mio were. They couldn't help but be overcome with emotions in some moments. I think I mentioned all these things in the posts about the Spaces, but to Eda, it was very important that Kotoha didn't show her tears to Megumi until the bridge scene in Episode 8, but Osaki had a hard time holding back tears both in the bed scene and in the Episode 4 scene (which is also the first scene that made me cry in the series), when Megumi opens up while in the water.
Mio was very emotionally involved all the time (I'll never, never, never forget that she kept being angry on set the entire time before and after filming the scene with Murata) but, again per Eda's vision, it was important for her NOT to cry during that scene in Episode 6, when Kotoha is lying on the ground and Megumi takes her hand (because Kotoha was in an especially weak state, she was especially in pain in those moments, so Megumi had to be stronger for her; despite the circumstances). Eda had to cut the first take because Mio ended up crying, and she's apparently holding tears back in the take they used in the show.
I also ADORE the scene in the cafeteria. It is so sweet...
What do you think of the different ways novel and drama portray the way Megumi reveals the truth to her friends? The vibe is soooo different!
Yeah...if it were longer we could've also experienced more of Megumi's inner turmoils, which I feel really enrich the novel a lot!
And yes, more time for MeguKoto just normally dating for a while would've been EVERYTHING! Sadly, Japanese dramas are very format-base, so it's rare (if it ever happens) that a series goes beyond one of the regular formats, and the 8 episodes of 20 minutes one is probably the most common of all...
ps: take your time! There's no rush! 🤗
I mean, in the scene while they were eating the honey toast, the drama Kotoha was portrayed as hoping the happy time in love with Megumi would last forever, such as her wish when they visited the temple in EP 3 and EP 8. So, the changes in lines are perfect for me.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, respect Miki-san since she added so many precious lines to the drama. We Takuanuos love ittt!
Thanks for giving us interesting information from the novel. Love your writing, as always!
Though Kotoha was yet to drop the mask, and to really entrust her true self to Megumi, she was definitely meaning to continue spending meaningful pleasant time together with her, which is lovely and heartwarming! It's just a pity that we didn't get to see more of that!
DeleteThank you for reading and for commenting! 🤗